I Think I Love My Husband
by LionsLady11-09-70
Summary: Carrie has been married to husband John Cena for 4 years. Despite the ups and downs, their still together. But one night and one man change everything. How much of a train wreck can this relationship be? Follow Carrie Cena on her road to patch things up.
1. Forward

**Editors Note: **And you thought I couldn't get any busier! I really want to start this story so here I am! Now sorry if I take soooo long to update this one or any other ones! I'm gonna be really busy next week. So please R&R!

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I sat across from the man that was still my husband. At least, I think he's still my husband. We've been though so much. And I've done so much shit that should have ended this marriage a long time ago. It's amazing how one night, one mistake, can change everything for the worse. I do love my husband, I really do. What drove me to do what I did that night, I still don't know. And what made me do the things after that, I really wish I knew. But there he was. He was still by my side, thinking that everything was OK. But one day can change the future. Everything blew up right in my face. I never intended it to. But I guess it just did.

I should probably introduce myself. My name is Carrie Cena. At least, I think it's still Cena. I kind of hope it is. You see, I've been married to John Cena for about 4 years. We've both been in the WWE for 5 years. He debuted in June; I came in February. We started dating in August of 2002 and married in December 2002. I know we didn't know each other long enough. But we really connected. And we stayed together for 4 years, learning about each other along the way. We were supposed to have a kid. I was 6 months on New Years. That RAW was the RAW that John faced Kevin Federline. Someone spilt a drink on the mat. I was walking to the other side of the ring and took a nasty fall. I fell right on my stomach. To make a long story short, the baby died that night. And so did my heart.

Thing's didn't really get better after that. John was always secretly talking on his cell phone. It took 5 hours and many failed tries, but I decided to go through his phone. In February of this year, I found out that John had been cheating on me. With Maria for that fact. He had been off and on for her since about May last year. I caught them and they ended it in September. But when I was 'suspended' in November, they started up again. The moment he came home that night I busted his ass. The next day on RAW, I took a proposition from Randy. I help him get to the Money in the Bank Ladder Match; He'll help me get to Wrestlemania for the Women's Title. Needless to say things started to heat up between us. We took a vacation in March to Phoenix. Someone saw us and threatened to put the pictures on the internet. Even though we bargained with him, he still did. I was busted my John while Randy was busted by his fiancée Sam.

Thing's didn't patch up till Wrestlemania. See the thing is, on Wrestlemania you only get your script. No one else's matches are in them. Just yours and yours only. So I won The Women's Championship from Melina that night and Randy made it to Money in the Bank (despite losing to Mr. Kennedy.) I accompanied John ringside to his match against Shawn. We still weren't on very good terms. But that night somehow brought us together. Maybe it was because I was worried throughout the whole damn match when John wouldn't move. Let me tell you. Being ringside that whole match, not knowing if your man will win or not, being beat to an extent, made me cry. The moment he got the 3 count on Shawn, I slid right into the ring to be by my man's side. I saw the look in his eyes. It was the same as mine. Thing's were finally OK between us. We both held our titles high for everyone to see. We became the power couple in the WWE.

From that moment to the draft were the best months of my life. We were like a new high school couple. We made out whenever we could. We had sex every night we were together. We did a photo shoot with People and had an interview about our marriage. I was on the top of the world. Everything was finally right in the world. Enter Ken Kennedy.

I had known Ken since he debuted. We became good friends and had stayed that way. Well he got injured and I ran out to help him that night. I felt bed for the guy what can I say? John wasn't too happy, but he got over it. But it wasn't Ken that started it all. It was because I was "flirting" with the stars as John has stated many times. But I was always flirty like that. I was hugging the stars. When I got Bobby Lashley for RAW I kissed him on the cheek when he walked back through the curtain. But Ken was the main play in this event.

He was the last draft for RAW that night. I was so excited I started to jump up and down. John was watching me from afar. He wasn't too happy with me. Kennedy did his thing out in the arena. When he came back I ran and jumped while he caught me. Then I did it. I don't know why I did, I just did. I kissed Ken Kennedy.

That's right. I kissed him. Right in front of every single WWE superstar and Diva. The back got all quiet as I did. When I jumped down I knew what I just did. The last thing I saw was John storming off down the hall. I remember thinking 'what the hell did I just do?' I knew that I had screwed everything up. And John just wouldn't budge.

That night led to a big blowout at some big bar. That led me to go to an exclusive hotel in St. Johns with Trish, Ashley and Amy. Needless to say, the whole thing was all over. Sometime during the trip Ken came down to give me a report on John. He wasn't fairing too well. At that point I didn't really care. Ken stayed for the rest of the weekend. The other's girls boyfriends came down too. Dave for Ashley, Trish's husband for her, and Adam for Amy. We went out and had a blast. And things always led to another thing with me and Kennedy. When I came back one RAW, I was convinced I needed a divorce.

But John wasn't budging for one. I drew up the papers and everything. He was just too stubborn to sign them. He kept saying that he could make this work. But the point was that I didn't love him anymore. So I snuck around with Ken behind his back. But little did I know that Ken had a girlfriend. He was also engaged. John caught us and Ken pinned the whole thing on me.

So here I sit across my husband in our living room. The divorce papers laid in the middle of us on our coffee table. This time I was the one not signing the papers. I was the one saying that I could make this work. I'm hoping things can work out between us. But how did all the events lead up to this? I'm here to tell my story. Follow me if you would like. Judge me if you would like. But it's not entirely my fault. But the main statement here? I think I love my husband.


	2. EMERGENCY CHAPPIE!

This has nothing to do with the stories. But I believe this is true.

Today, confirmed that Chris Benoit and his family were found dead in their home in Atlanta. Here's the article from are still awaiting further details, but is extremely saddened to report that former WWE and WCW World champion Chris Benoit and his wife, former WCW and ECW personality Nancy "Woman" Benoit were both found dead today in Atlanta, Georgia. Obviously this will be a huge developing story in the days to come but at this point, we'd like to express our deepest condolences to the Benoit's family, friends, and fans at this time.

_A meeting is currently ongoing at WWE TV and it is expected that tonight's three hour Raw will now be dedicated to Benoit's memory._

_6:09 Update: issued the following statement this afternoon, also announcing that the Benoits' family (the couple had two children, although if it was them has not been confirmed) were also found dead:_

_"WWE is sad to report that Chris Benoit and his family have been found dead in their home. Police are currently investigating the circumstances surrounding the deaths. Tonight's Raw will be a tribute to Chris and his family."'_

I want to say personally that this is the saddest moment in WWE. My thoughts and prayers go out To Chris's extended family and friends. This is truly sad. And thinking this isn't just some sick storyline it must be true. I'm sure the whole wwe world in shock. I still am. My god I'm crying….

Chris was an amazing wrestler. He had something many wrestlers don't. He's a veteran but is still in the game. His last title was the United States Championship. He is a former WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Through WWE's good times and bad, he still stayed. I would like to dedicate this "chapter" To Chris and his family. May they rest in peace…


	3. The Night Before

**Sunday, June 10, 2007**

I sat at our dining room table looking over some wedding plans. I was planning Randy's and Samantha's wedding. How I got stuck with this job, I don't know. But it was hell! The caterer didn't want to serve chicken, the florist couldn't get the roses, and Sam's designer for her dress got in a fatal car accident. So I sat at the table, trying to figure out what to do. I could fix the food thing easily. Randy did want to serve steak anyways. And the florist? I could just get tulips. But the dress. That was the issue. I could call another designer to finish the first one off. Or have them make a new one. God this was so confusing! John came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. He looked down on what I was doing.

"Come on babe. It's our day off and you're still working?"

"I really need to do this! Sam needs a dress. I don't know how I can get her one."

"Couldn't she just go shopping somewhere?"

"If she was a normal person yes. But I told her I would get her a designer dress! Maybe I should call Vera…"

I picked up the home phone next to me and started to dial her number. John took the phone from my hands and hung up. I turned so I could face him. He wasn't even dressed yet! He was still in his black Hane's boxers. I was in an American Eagle medium length denim skirt with a blue and grey button up polo from Vanity. He smiled as he hid the phone behind his back.

"Now I'm going to go get dressed. Then we are going to go out for breakfast…"

"You mean lunch? It's already 1."

"Shut up. Fine then. Lunch it is. Then we can go to the gym for a while. Then we can come back, shower up and go out to eat."

"Sound's fine. Nice day to take our mind off the draft tomorrow."

That was my plan."

John kissed me lightly on the lips before running up the stairs. I took the phone and started to dial Vera's number again. It rang at least 7 times before she finally answered.

"What do you want?"

"Vera? This is Carrie. Carrie Cena?"

"Carrie! Oh I'm sorry! I thought you were someone else! How are you doing?"

"Fine just fine."

"How's the dress?"

"In my closet still in my bag. Speaking of wedding dresses, I have a friend who needs a wedding dress."

"Is she famous?"

"Well…no. But she's getting married to Randy Orton in the fall and the original designer I had died. So could you please make a dress for her?"

"What's her size?"

"4."

"I guess. Anything for you darling."

"Oh thank you Vera! I owe you!"

I hung up with Vera. Oh I had connections. I knew almost everyone in Hollywood. How you ask? I just did. Like I said, I have connections. So John came racing down the stairs in kaki shorts with a plain black shirt with his gym bag hanging over his shoulder. I picked mine up, which was by my chair. I was planning on going anyways. John opened the door as we walked out. We stopped into Keys for lunch for a while. As I sat there eating my Caesar salad and John eating French Toast, someone called me. I looked at the caller ID to see who it was. It was Ken himself.

"Ken! How are you?"

"Doing good! I guess I should tell you that I'll be at RAW tomorrow…"

"You're what?! My god Ken this is great! I haven't seen you in forever!"

"I know! I can't wait to see you! Well I gotta go. I'm about to get on the plane. See you!"

"See you!"

I hung up the phone smiling. John looked up at me mid bite with his second serving of his breakfast. I just looked at him and smiled. I went back to eating my salad and watching the TV. It was going to be a nice day today. John got in my way of the TV.

"Who was that?"

"Ken. He's going to be backstage at RAW tomorrow!"

"Oh."

Now John had never been a big fan of Ken. They never saw eye to eye. One time they were in a room together for 5 minutes. Soon security and stars were rushing to that room. Somehow they both said things they didn't like and a fight erupted. Hence when I rushed out to help Ken when he got hurt John blew a casket. But I found it to be no big deal. I could see that John really wasn't too happy about the news. I gave him a reassuring smile before finally finishing my salad. We paid the waitress and headed to the gym. When we got there we went to the separate dressing rooms. Now let me tell you. Signing autographs and taking pictures while your getting dressed really isn't the best thing! But you put a smile on and make the best of it. I got out and headed to the treadmill first. After 20 minutes on that I worked on the Bowflex there. Soon I was pretty tired. I found John on the other side lifting weights. I stood in front of him so he couldn't see himself in the mirror.

"Are you ready to go?"

"I'm not done yet. I have some other stuff to do."

"Like what? It's already 4."

"I know that. Why don't you go to the pilates or yoga thing here? I'll be done in a half hour."

"Fine. Come find me when you're done."

I walked off to the pilates room. I walked in and took a seat. I wasn't really sitting for long. 30 minutes later I was more sore then being choke slammed through a table by the Undertaker in 2003. I saw John through the window laughing at me. I scowled and got up. I took my stuff and walked. I slapped him on the arm as he laughed at me.

"Come on. It's funny!"

"Oh you think so? Next time come in with me."

We walked to the car and got home. I ran to the bathroom but forgot to lock the door. I hopped in the shower and let the water wash over me. I was so excited to see Ken tomorrow. I wondered when he would come back. What if he got traded to RAW? That would be the best. Soon John got in the shower and scared me half to death. After some shower sex I got out and looked in my closet. So many clothes to choose from! I finally chose a black Betsey Johnson dress with sparkles going across the chest then leaving a trail leading down to the hem. I slipped on some black Gucci heels with my white Coach purse. I centered my wedding ring and looked on how it sparkled. John stepped out in kaki shorts and a blue checkered polo button up from Ralph Lauren. He also wore his usual cologne, Acqua Di Gio by Giorgio Armani. He started to kiss my neck as I spritzed on some Burberry London. I gave him a kiss as we made our way out. John brought me to the Lexington on Grand. As I ate my fish John looked concerned.

"What's on your mind?"

"The draft tomorrow. What if something happens?"

"Like what? One of us going to a different brand? It'll be OK. We'll see each other on free days. Don't forget paper views."

"I know. But it'll be hard not seeing you every weekend for house shows."

"We're not gone yet! Calm down babe. Now let's change the subject."

"So Ken's gonna be on RAW tomorrow."

I dropped my fork and knife. We went the whole day without John bringing Ken up. It had to happen sometime. I sat back in my chair and looked at him.

"Just don't go near him. It's that easy."

"Why does he have to come?"

"In case he gets traded! Come on hun."

"What if he comes to RAW? I won't live."

"He's still out so even if he does he won't be around for a while."

"I swear to god if he gets on my nerves…"

"Don't start anything! You almost got fired the first time. Now just let it go."

"Why are you so excited to see him anyways?"

"He's one of my good friends. I haven't seen him since April. It will be nice to talk to him in person."

"Do you need to talk to him?"

"Are you telling me I can't?"

"Not really. I prefer you not to."

I sat up out of my chair and threw my napkin on the table. I grabbed my purse and walked out. I didn't need to take it. John was always jealous of Ken. He never admitted it, but I could always see it. I called for a taxi since John had the keys. When I got home I checked the messages. Nothing new. I walked upstairs to our bedroom. I changed into orange striped short shorts from Aeropostale with a matching grey beater. I climbed into bed and checked the time. It was 8:30. Why was I in bed so soon? I walked downstairs to get something better to eat. I made myself a PBJ and made my way to the dining table again. For the next 2 hours I worked on the wedding some more. I fixed the food situation (I got the chef to make chicken tetrazinni), got new flowers (found a different florist to get roses) and got an update on the dress (Vera would make it herself!!) Finally around 10:30 I decided I had worn myself out. I checked my e-mail and updated my myspace one last time before heading off to bed. It was around midnight when John came in and changed. He climbed into bed and put his arm around me.

"I'm sorry Carrie. I shouldn't have pushed your buttons."

"It's fine. Where were you?"

"I actually went to a bar to have rap battles with people. You should have seen this one drunk. What did you do?"

"The wedding."

"Again? Baby your going to wear yourself out before this thing comes around."

"It's all basically finished. Don't worry. Now can we sleep? Our plane leaves at 10."

"Right. Night baby."

"Night John."

I received a goodnight kiss from John before he fell asleep. But now I was having a hard time falling asleep. In 8 hours the Draft would start. There was the possibility that John and I would be split up. Or Kennedy could come to RAW. Ken. Why did he always pop into my mind from time to time? I shook my head a little. I had to get some sleep. I drifted off to sleep after a while. But the worry of the draft still lingered. Little did I know that the draft would become a disaster.


	4. And It's All Downhill From Here

**June 11, 2007-Draft Day**

I stepped out of the white limo that was given transportation to me, John and many other stars at the airport. It was only 5:00, but we all knew we had a long day ahead of us. John walked over to me and put his arm around me. I started to grow scared. '_This might be the last time we walk into a venue together for a while' _I remember thinking. Why the hell was I thinking this? It would all be OK! I would usually sign autographs, but I was in no mood for it. I just walked straight, not knowing that John stopped being at my side. I turned to see him taking pictures for kids. I sighed and walked in. Yeah I disappointed the fans. But that's life. I walked into the venue and looked at the board. You see, there was this board right in the entrance that said who you would fight or if you had a promo. I would be challenging Kristal. Now I had to fight too? I ran my fingers through my hair. I was about to go to my room before someone started to scream at me. I turned to see Sam running toward me. Randy had this '_really sorry' _face on. I accepted his apology when Sam ran into me and hugged me tight.

"You got me Vera! How the hell did you do that?!"

"She owed me a favor? What can I say?"

"Well thank you. Thank you for all that you have done! But Randy and I were talking and…well…"

"You don't need my services anymore."

"I know you really wanted to do this! But mine and Randy's sisters want to take care of the rest. You can handle Vera since no one in my family can. Is that OK?"

OK? It was more then OK! I loved Sam at that moment! I dreaded every single moment I had with the stupid job! I just never had time to do anything. There were the signings and appearances and the TV and house shows…I could go on and on! I took the wedding folder out and handed it to Sam. She gave me one last squeeze before walking off to Randy's room. Randy walked up to me and laughed.

"I made her stop. I knew how much it was draining you."

"I don't understand how Jess did mine within like, 4 months?"

"It happens. Well I'll see you around?"

"Yeah. See you at the curtain."

I gave Randy a hug and walked away. I guess it was still aquward between us. How is it you ask? Well long ago before we were in OVW, we dated. How? I know Hulk. Yes, I know Hulk Hogan. He's a very good family friend to us. I went on tour with him one summer and Bob Orton brought Randy. We hooked up and stayed together for close to 2 years. One summer, he was 18 and I was 16, he broke up with me. He was headed to college and didn't want a high school girlfriend. I didn't really talk to him since then until he showed up in WWE around April. But I guess we've pushed past everything. I made my way to the diva room and put my stuff down. I decided to get dressed. I looked through my suitcase on what to wear. I decided on a white tube top with jewels down the bust and a powder blue mini skirt. Then I walked out to John's room. I didn't even bother on knocking when I opened the door. He was just laying there on the couch.

"What took you so long?"

"I had my duty of wedding planner taken away and I was celebrating."

"So more late nights of you hunched over the table with papers spread across the table?"

"I think I'm rid of that."

"Well pop a seat next to me babe!"

I laughed as I lay down next to John in the black leather couch in his room. This was a ritual for us since he came to RAW. I would always change the channel on him and fall asleep for at least 2 hours. Somehow I would wake up with 30 minutes to spare and do my last touches. The 2 hours I would sleep John would not move an inch. I don't know he could stay that still for that long. I set my head on his chest and sighed. I listened to the rhythm of his heartbeat. Soon I was drifting off to a much needed wedding-free sleep.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

My brain woke up around god knows when. I was going to open my eyes and get up, but someone came in. John shushed whoever came in. I really wanted to know who it was! But I didn't dare open my eyes. So I faked sleep and listened to the conversation. Someone was sitting on the arm of the couch. Judging by the scent I would have to say it was…Dave. I smiled to myself. Dave and I were like best friends almost.

"Dude why the hell are you watching 'What Not To Wear'?"

"Carrie changed it and fell asleep on the remote."

"And you won't move her?"

"Damn man I don't dare. Not tonight anyways. I mean, look at her. She's finally at peace. It's been too hectic for her these past few weeks."

"Yeah I know. She really is peaceful isn't she?"

"Definitely."

I thought I heard John sniffle. But…John said he never cried. I felt John slow reach for something. Was it a Kleenex? It brushed against my shoulder. My gosh it was! My poor baby was crying over me.

"I just guess that…this might be the last time we're like this for a while ya know? When I was on Smackdown and she was on RAW it was torture. If we get separated…"

John's voice trailed off. Dave moved a piece or hair out of my face. I could tell he was smiling at me. And…damn I forgot to tell you! When Dave debuted back in May of 2002, we went out. Yeah I went out with him when he was Deacon Bautista. I remember seeing him and thinking _'Holy hell who is that?' _ He turned out to be nice and we went out for a month. Then John came along and I dumped him for John. Yes what I did was wrong. But if I didn't, I wouldn't be in John's arms right now! I would be in Dave's…I think. I decided to stop faking and stretched a little, letting the guys know I was awake. I opened my eyes and smiled at Dave.

"What brings you here?"

"I honestly don't know. My room is right next to John's so I decided to check in."

"Well thanks Dave. John we have to go to curtain since your starting."

I got up and pulled John up. He put on his shirt and we walked out of the room. I looked back at Dave who was staring at the spot where I was sleeping. He didn't have feelings for me…did he?

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**8:00 P.M-WWE Monday Night RAW**

The theme music for RAW blared through the arena. The pyro went off for a straight 8 seconds. John and I were seconds away from going out there. John was facing Adam for the first draft pick. Adam came up next to John and pat him on the back. As much as they were told to hate each other on TV, they were friends off screen. Adam's music played as he made his way out. John put his arm around me and kissed me.

"Are you ready?"

"Don't use that phrase against me!"

"Just because you managed DX when they re-grouped doesn't mean you have copyright on it."

"How do you know?"

John smiled before kissing me again. The first few sounds of his music played. Boos and cheers could be heard through the arena. Soon we both ran out and greeted the fans. I stood at the top of the ramp and smiled. This is what RAW was about. John gave me a quick kiss before we both headed down the ramp. He gave me his dog tags as he got into the ring. I stood on the outside and watched the match. I acted scared when Adam had the advantage. I cheered John on when he did. Soon Adam rolled him up for the win. I slid into the ring as Adam slid out. We all looked up at the TitanTron to see the new member of Smackdown. Drafted from RAW…it was Kahli. John and I just burst out laughing. Now Adam had to deal with the giant. His loss, our gain. Commercial came as we exited the ring. I walked into a hug from Mickie.

"Come stand by us!"

Mickie pulled me away from my husband. I would have rather stayed by John. Hell if I did none of this would happen.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

After one hour I was easing up. This draft really wasn't that bad! I started to loosen up and joke around with everyone. The time came for my match with Kristal. My music started to play as the crowd cheered me on. I went out there and got to the ring. I waited on Kristal to make her way down. When she made it to the ring, I winked at her. But once that bell rang, I was on her. 7 minutes later. I had her pinned for the 1-2-3. My hand was raised in victory as I got another pick for RAW. Who did I get for RAW? None other then…Bobby Lashley! I went nuts in that ring! I had got RAW the most dominant man in WWE! He came out to cheers through the crowd. I got out of the ring and hugged Lashley. When I got backstage all the RAW stars came up to me and congratulated me. I made it to my husband.

"You're giving me competition."

"Deal with it babe."

I gave John a quick kiss before I greeted Lashley after he was done. I was on cloud 9 after that. I felt invincible! I walked back over to Mickie and Candice. Candice poked me and had me look over at John.

"He doesn't look to happy."

"Whatever it is, he'll get over it."

Thing's went downhill from there. The time came where Dave's match was next. He gave me this smile he never gave me before. I smiled at him back. He grabbed my hand and led me to a corner.

"Yes Dave?"

"I have a proposition for you."

"Oh boy!"

"I want you to be my manager on Smackdown. I know you already were and that didn't end well. Just think on it will you?"

"I will. Thank you for thinking of me!"

"It's kind of hard not to."

I smiled at Dave while I hugged. Dave was like a big brother to me. I walked back to find John giving me a death stare. What was his problem? I blew him a kiss and winked at him. He smiled a little bit before turning back to CM Punk. Dave went out for his match. In the end he won and gave Smackdown the choice. He took Ric Flair from us! When Ric came through that curtain I gave him a hug.

"So not fair!"

"Yeah it is. Don't worry darling, I'll still see you."

"You better. I'll miss our late night drives."

Flair laughed before hugging me one last time. Dave walked through that curtain smiling. I walked over and smacked him on the arm.

"What? I didn't choose to draft him!"

"I know. I had to hit someone."

"Why don't you hit John who looks like he's gonna explode?"

"But that will make him explode. Just leave him. He'll get over it."

That was just the beginning. The time came for the battle royal for the last 2 draft picks. I saw Randy coming up in his red RAW shirt. I couldn't help but notice how great he looked. Why didn't I notice it before? Randy saw me and smiled.

"Looking at something?"

"Yeah. You. You have a problem?"

"Not one with that."

I smiled as I gave him a hug and squeezed his hand. He kissed me on the cheek as he went out. I saw John out of the corner of my eye. He was getting restless. Jesus he needed to calm down! I started to tap my foot. I hadn't seen Ken anywhere! Where the hell was he? I watched the match on the monitor. In the end Randy won the battle royal for RAW. We all erupted in cheers. Smackdown and ECW just sneered. We looked to see who we got. Snitsky. No big deal. He pushed past all of us and went out for a brief stint. Then he pushed us all back as he walked away. Then I looked up again. The last draft pick was…Ken! RAW got Ken! I looked around to find him. I saw his back as he stepped out to the arena. I ran back to Candice and jumped up and down with her.

"We got Ken! We got Ken!"

"Oh stop gloating you too. We lost a good wrestler."

"We didn't pick it Michelle so McCool it."

All the divas laughed at that one. I saw Ken come back. This is where the car crashes. This is where the bad ending begins. This is where it all happens. I firstly walked slowly to him. When he saw me, he smiled. I suddenly broke into a run. I don't know why I did. At this point I felt like I couldn't control my body. Suddenly I felt his arms around my legs holding me up. Then I felt his lips against mine. That's when it happened. That's when we kissed. That's when…I fucked up my relationship.


	5. Vacation's All I Ever Wanted

Ken let go of my legs and I jumped to the ground. I stood and looked around at the stars. Either their mouths were wide open or they were whispering among each other. For five

seconds I stood there with a smile on my face. What was the big deal? Then after those five seconds, it hit me. I just kissed a man that wasn't my husband. Right in front of the whole WWE. I looked over at Ken. He looked pretty satisfied with himself. Like none of this was his problem. Then I made the mistake to look at my husband. He was angry, I could tell. I didn't blame him. He turned quickly and walked to his room. I started after him but I ran into Vince. He gave me a stare and walked out. I ignored all the eyes in me and made my way to John.

"John! Babe slow down!"

John stopped dead in his tracks. He turned to face me. His face was red with anger. I coiled back slowly. OK he was way beyond angry. He was furious. If there was an emotion above that, he was that too.

"Why should I? My wife just kissed another man!"

"OK I'm sorry I did that! What more do you want?"

"You think sorry will make everything better?"

"It sure as hell did when I took you back! Dude you went behind my back with Maria for months! What you did does not even compare what I did back there!"

"But mine was done secretly! You did yours in front of everyone! That's even worse!"

"How the hell is that worse? Yours is worse beyond compare! Do you want to compare?"

"No thank you! I'm done here."

"Yeah but I'm not! John just…"

John and I saw Vince pass us. He stopped between us. We both looked at him. These were his 'final steps'. We looked back to see all the stars looking at us. Then I saw the cameras. It dawned on me that the cameras caught part of our fight. I sighed as Vince walked off and out the door. John looked back at me.

"Well now everyone knows what happened. Thanks a lot."

"Oh so your going to blame this on me? What the hell did I do?"

"You kissed Kennedy!"

"You fucked Maria! Your point!"

I heard many of the stars gasp. I didn't really care. It was about time to air out some dirty laundry. I heard the click-clack of heels run the direction of the diva locker room. I looked at John. I caught him there. He wasn't going to win this one.

"Why did you kiss him?"

"Why did you cheat on me with Maria? In fact, you never really told me. Might as well tell me now."

"Why should I tell you? You won't even tell me why you kissed Kennedy."

"I don't know why! It just happened! I couldn't control it!"

"Well I couldn't control my affair with Maria."

"Oh of course you couldn't! You just couldn't control the movement of your lips or where the hell your penis went!"

Snickers erupted through the arena among stars. John looked down embarrassed. He must have thought that I was done. Oh hell no. I was far from done.

"You know what your problem is John? You never admit when you're wrong! Remember that fallout last year before Unforgiven? We were yelling at each other on live TV? Who sucked up and chased your ass and apologized? Me! What did you do? Nothing! You didn't even apologize!"

"Why did I have to? I didn't do anything!"

"You see? That's where your wrong! You fucked Maria on several occasions! You were cheating on me when I was pregnant! You always shy you'll change but you never do! Have you noticed that!"

"That won't erase the fact the little one night stand you had back in August!"

Oops. Totally forgot about that. And I wished that John had too. In case I didn't explain it before, I was on Smackdown for this one show. Turns out some of the rooms had too many people. Dave graciously volunteered us to go to the new room. Well we got there and it was a beautiful room. One thing led to another and…well you get the point. The next morning I ditched the place. Still surprised that we still talk.

"OK that was one night! But you didn't have one night stands with Maria! You kept going back for more! You know what John…"

I looked behind me. All the stars were gone. I breathed a sigh of some relief. Then I let some tears trickle down my cheek. I didn't want to talk anymore. Before I could leave, Mickie came up next to me. She acted like nothing went on.

"Hey Carrie. We're all going out now. Wanna come? I have your thing's here."

I looked over at John. He was pretty much giving me a death stare. I looked down at the ground.

"You leave here your leaving me."

I looked back up at John. He was shaking a little bit. He was risking something here. He was taking a chance. Well…so was I. I took my bags from Mickie.

"Let's go."

I followed Mickie to the exit. As I passed John I saw a tear gather in his eye. I slowed my pace down. Did I really want to do this? Was John serious? At this point, I didn't care. I felt like I was right in this situation. I opened the exit door, and walked out on my marriage. But at the time, I didn't know it.

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Everyone went to this trendy little bar outside of town. I think it was called Water and Ice. Where the name came from, I have no clue. I was sitting between Mickie and Torrie. Maria just would not make eye contact with me. Honestly, I didn't blame her. All the respected champions from each brand was giving a speech. Basically they were saying goodbye to the people they lost, and hello to the people they gained. So far, no one mentioned me kissing Ken. Which was definitely a good thing. Adam sat down and we all clapped. Then everyone noticed that John did not join us.

"Since John isn't here, how about Carrie does the speech? She's still his wife…I think."

"Shut it Adam."

I looked over to see where the voice came from. Little Maria said that for me! Maybe it was a peace offering? I stood up and looked around. All eyes were on me. To be honest, it felt uncomfortable. It sucked, but it had to be done.

"Well I might as well start with goodbyes. Kahli, you're a giant and basically close to unbeatable. We know you'll have a good run on Smackdown. Chris, no one on RAW beat your Masterlock. Now you can bring the challenge to Smackdown. You'll be missed…but those Masterlock challenges won't. Ric, you've been stylin and profilin around RAW for years. Your personality and humor will be missed. So will the young ladies you brought in to the venues every night. And Torrie. You've been like a sister to me. I'm gonna miss you girl. Now for the hellos…"

This was going to be aquward. Seeing as how Kennedy is now on RAW, I had no clue how to handle this one.

"Bobby Lashley. I'm sure you'll capture RAW gold soon. I hope you have the best of time on RAW here. Well…you should since I got you here. Snitsky isn't here. I swear to god that man lives under a rock! King Booker and Sharmell, I'm sure I speak for RAW when I say that we're happy to have the king and queen on RAW. RAW is now your kingdom."

OK I was lying on that. I hated the guy. And his character. It's been a year man! Shawn doesn't prance around in a crown and a cape like he's king! Anyways…

"And Ken…"

And this is where I need to breathe. Some uncomfortable coughs were stifled through around the table. I wanted to run and hide. But I had to face this head on.

"Even though your still injured, I'm sure when you come back you'll be amazing. Get well soon. RAW is waiting for you."

I sat back down and sighed. An applause gathered slowly. I sat back in my chair. Soon Selena's "Como Me Duele" came on. I sat up instantly. Back in March, Randy and I took salsa lessons down in Phoenix. This was the song we practiced to. I got up and headed toward him.

"Oh no do we have to?"

"Yes we do! Come on before the song goes to waste!"

I grabbed his arm and pulled him up. I dragged him out to the dance floor that had cleared. He took my hand and spun me around. In the first verse the lady has the main part. The whole time I could feel all eyes on me. It was kind of aquward but whatever. Soon some other couples came on the dance floor trying to copy us. By the end of the song, Randy dipped me. Everyone applauded and cheered for us. We bowed and he led me back to the table. As we neared, I stopped. John was sitting in one of the seats. This wasn't going to be pleasant. I walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

"So you came?"

"Too bad I did. I got to see you hook up with Randy."

"What the fuck are you thinking? We were dancing which you hate!"

"Oh so it's my fault now?"

"What is?"

"You walking out on me in the arena! You kissing Ken! It's all my fault!"

"Actually…it is!"

I caused John to push his chair back that it fell over. He stood up and looked at me. His fists were balled up and his knuckles were turning white. The whole club stopped what they were doing and watched us.

"How is it my fault? We were fine!"

"No. You think we were fine. You weren't the one up at tree in the morning crying over something you didn't know! Your not the one not knowing why you were crying!"

"Well why were you?"

"Damn John I just told you! I don't know! But not that I think about it, let me name off some reasons. You said you would change and you still haven't! You lie to me! You never admit your wrong! Do I need to say more?"

"What about you huh? You were lying to me. All those times you said that everything was fine! I guess they weren't! Tell me Carrie! What's going on in that stupid head of yours!"

The music stopped and the lights turned on. Like people really needed to see what was going on. It was bad enough that everyone could hear us. The next words that came out of my mouth surprised everyone, even me.

"I think you could change for someone you loved. I'm thinking about leaving you and getting a divorce. How's that for thinking?"

I burst into tears and ran off. I pushed people out of my way and made it to the front. I ran to the car I came in and got in. Thank god Torrie gave me the keys. Otherwise I would be walking at this point. As I pulled out of the parking lot, I saw John come out of the club. The stars and club goers emptied out with him. He ran on my side of the car.

"Baby come on! Your not serious!"

I stopped the car and rolled down the window. I faced the man whom I thought was my husband. I saw Ken in the background. He just nodded at me. I knew what I had to do.

"Oh hell yeah I am."

That was the last I heard of anyone that night. I drove back to the hotel to get my things. I had to get away. Leave WWE for the moment. I packed my things and headed to the airport. At a red light I knew I couldn't go alone. I decided to get 3 of my trusty friends with me. So I got them all on 3-way.

"What's this all about girlie?"

"Wanna go on vacation?"


	6. I Told You So

**Editor's Note: **Well I would have updated yesterday but Fan fic was down! So here's the new chappie! And also, I'm gonna start a new story soon. It's a WWExTNA fan fic. The TNA star is Christan Cage. Problem is, I don't know which WWE diva to pair him with! So when you review (if you do), could you please tell me who you think he should be paired with. Thanks bunches!!

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I arrived at St. Johns International airport at around 8:00 a.m their time. I checked my watch. Trish's flight would be in at any minute. Amy's at around 8:30, then Ashley's at around 9. I walked to the gate where Trish came in. People were starting to walk off the plane. She was one of the first people off. She was wearing daisy dukes with a tight black tank top. She pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head. She saw me and smiled. We both walked toward each other then embracing in a hug when we reached each other. We stood there for a while. Finally we pulled apart.

"So what's with this emergency vacation?"

"Let's wait till Amy and Ash get in."

"They're coming too? Man this must be bad!"

I laughed as we made our way to Amy's gate. Once we sat down Trish started to talk about her life after WWE. She talked about the short lived reality show she was on. She talked about her married life and how she loved it. Lastly, she talked about how she missed the WWE and that she might come back for a while. Soon Amy's flight came in. The redhead was the first to get off. She was wearing low rise camo pants with a white halter top. She spotted me and ran over.

"What the hell? I was in the middle of recording!"

"At like 4 in the morning?"

"No…but I was supposed to today! What this all about anyways?"

"Wait for Ashley."

"Huh? Oh hey Trish."

"Thanks for the notice hun."

We both got up as Amy gave us hugs. We walked over to Ashley's gate and sat down in the chairs. Amy updated us on her music and love life. She didn't miss the WWE and was glad she was gone. She said it gave an opening to the other girls there. Soon Ashley's plane landed. She was the last one off and had the most baggage. She walked over and plopped her bags down.

"Wow. This seems urgent. What's going on Carrie?"

I stood up and pushed Ashley down. I stood in front of my 3 best friends. I sighed as I tried to figure out how so say the right words. I decided to just come out with it.

"I kissed Kennedy in front of everyone Monday. I don't know why, but I did. John got mad and stormed off. We both blew up in a bar. Truth is, he was cheating on me with Maria. So I fled here while stating it was…it was…"

I couldn't get the words out. Over. John and I were over. It seemed like those words running across my mind seemed so unreal…distant. I sniffed as tears streamed down my cheeks. The girls seemed to catch my drift. They all jumped up and went in for a big group hug. We stood there as I cried over the man I had just lost. They pulled away as I wiped the tears from my eyes. We all walked to get our luggage. As we did, Amy was abnormally quiet. I looked back since she had fallen back. When she saw me, she gave a faint smile.

"Remember…"

Remember. That's all I needed to remember what she had said. That day. When I got married to John. In the room. She had pulled me away…

_I stood there fretting over my wedding dress. I thought the train was too long. But everyone thought it was just fine. I wanted to cut it down so it would be shorter._

"_I'm gonna trip over this!"_

"_No you won't! It's just fine."_

"_You just want to see me fall on my face Stacy."_

"_No we don't! Stop worrying. You're getting married today!"_

"_I know I am!"_

_All us girls squealed at me getting married. Amy came into the room from the church. I sent her out there to make sure everything was OK. Amy smiled as she saw me in the mirror._

"_The wedding is about to start. Everyone file out!"_

_The girls walked out the door to the church. Amy and I were the only ones left in the room. She shut the door after everyone left. Amy walked up to me and stood next to me. I smiled at her as she gave me a hug._

"_Can I say something Carrie?"_

"_Yeah anything. But everything is perfect out there right?"_

"_Oh! Yeah it's fine. Except your cousin came in drunk…"_

"_Shit. I knew it. Anyways, go on."_

"_Well…never mind. I don't want to get you mad."_

"_No tell me!"_

"_OK fine. Well…I think your rushing into this. I mean…how long have you known him? 6 months? I don't want you to do this. You really shouldn't do this."_

_I was a little taken back on what she had just said. She told me what I was doing was the right thing not to long ago. Why would she lie to me? She could tell I seemed hurt and looked down. Now I knew why she didn't want to tell me._

"_I think I'm doing the right thing. John and I know enough about each other. And we love each other so much! What else do we need?"_

"_Trust! Knowledge about each other! Don't you see hun? This isn't going to turn out good. Somewhere down the road someone will do something and it will all blow up. Which will lead you to a dead end! Carrie…this isn't right."_

"_Who are you to say what's right and wrong in my life!"_

"_I'm just saying! I don't want to be standing in front of you years from now telling you 'I told you so!'"_

"_And you won't. Now excuse me, I have a wedding to get to."_

_I walked past Amy and out the door. Terry (Hulk) stood there to walk me down the aisle. I looked over my shoulder to find Amy standing in the doorway looking at me. She passed me to walk down the aisle as one of my bridesmaids. We didn't talk the rest of the night…_

"Amy don't…"

"I told you I didn't want to but…"

"Didn't want to what? Did we miss something?"

Ashley bounced over and put her elbow on my shoulder. Trish came up next to Ashley and looked at me and Amy. We were having a stare down. In my mind I kept wondering just how Amy could have been right.

"Nothing. I don't have to say anything. Carrie knows what I would say anyways."

"Well alright then! Let's get going!"

Trish turned around and walked out the doors. Ashley followed her. As I walked with them Amy passed me and whispered in my ear.

"I told you so."

I stopped as Amy kept walking. How could have Amy been so right? Maybe I was doing the wrong thing then. I should have waited. John and I should have waited. God why didn't we wait! We might have had a chance to be together then. We totally rushed into marriage. What a stupid thing to do. I walked out to the warm St. John's air. I stepped into the limo I pre-ordered to take us to our hotel. All the while I couldn't help but think about John. Amy really did tell me so. But she wasn't the only one who did. I had finally told myself Monday. And never, ever in my life, did I think I would ever do that.


	7. Spa Days And Muddy Tears

While in St. John's I decided our first order of business was to go get our nails done since we couldn't check in till noon. So I told our driver to take us to the nearest nail place. In about 20 minutes, we went through this gate where it seemed we were in the middle of nowhere. The girls and I looked around at our surroundings. There were 4 buildings; not very big, but big enough. The buildings were about 50 feet apart. There was a little nice looking shack to our right. Then there was a huge building. About 5 stories high. The driver stopped at the little shack. Someone opened the door and pulled us out. Ashley was basically thrown out.

"What the hell dude? Who are you and where are we?"

"Very sorry. I am Jaboo."

"Jaboo? What the fuck?"

"Don't ask. Your driver got a call to take you here to your hotel ASAP. Somehow news got out that Mrs. Cena has flown to St. Johns. Paparazzi are out looking for her. Your driver took you here. To your hotel."

"Wait…which one?"

"The one ahead. But I will run you to spa."

Jaboo pushed us in the direction of the spa. It was the building that was 5 stories. The driver was taking our bags and bringing them into one of the buildings. But something didn't seem right. Jaboo had called me Mrs. Cena. Was I still Mrs. Cena? Or wasn't I? Who the hell was I? Jaboo pushed us through the glass door and ran off. We all looked around. There were leather couches and magazines in the waiting room. A TV in the corner had local news on. A lady came from the hall.

"Did Jaboo bring you?"

"Yes! Now tell us what the fuck is going on!"

We all looked at Ashley. She seemed frustrated. I don't blame her of course. She got frustrated easily. The lady nodded and walked over to us.

"We are sorry for the confusion. The driver is from our hotel. When Mrs. Cena called us, we assigned him to you. That's how he knew where you were staying. The 4 buildings are the 4 places where guests stay. It's very exclusive. Not many people know about this place. You will stay here for a week."

"Well…can we get the whole package?"

"For all? That will be 6,000 dollars."

I handed my credit card to the woman and she slid it through. The girls all stared at me. Yes, 6,000 dollars is a lot for this kind of stuff. But I didn't really care. We all walked over to the couches and chairs and sat down. Trish picked up a Star magazine and started to read it. Amy stood, checking her messages. Ashley looked up at the TV and started watching it. As for me, I opened an US Weekly and looked through it. As I flipped through it a certain picture caught my eye. It was of me and John in Boston last week. He was giving me a piggy back ride down the sidewalk after we had lunch. I remember that day…it was one of the good days…

_John and I had just walked out of Pac's after a filling lunch. I carried a little Styrofoam box which held my club sandwich and part of John's BLT. We were walking down the sidewalk when my knee gave out and my fell to the ground. John turned around and rushed over to me._

"_Babe are you OK?"_

"_Yeah my knee just gave out. Hell that hurt."_

"_It just gave out on you like that? That's weird."_

"_That's me. I'm weird."_

"_Can you get up or walk?"_

_I tried getting up, but I fell back down. John helped me up and held my hand. I tried walking on my knee, but fell again. John sighed and laughed as he helped me up again. I leaned against him so I wouldn't fall._

"_So this leaves only one thing for me to do."_

"_And that would be…"_

_John bent down and grabbed my legs. He held on to them as he got up. He started to run down the sidewalk. I laughed as John gave me a piggy back ride all the way to his house. He even started to make little piggy noises which made me laugh even harder. We reached his house and he let me down in the wet grass with him on top._

"_Well thank you Wilbur I enjoyed the ride!"_

"_Your welcome Charlotte! Now we need to go ice your knee. If Vince finds out your knee gave out…"_

"_He would throw a fit I know."_

_John kissed me lightly on the grass, but I pulled him close for more. My back was melting into the wet grass as I pulled him closer on to me. But he came too close as he put all his weight in the knee that gave out. I screamed in pain as John quickly got up._

"_Shit what did I do?"_

"_You laid on my knee you numb nut! Damn it hurt's like hell!"_

_John picked me up and carried me inside. He laid me on the couch and elevated my knee. He got ice packs and laid them on my knee. I stayed like that the rest of the week until the house shows._

I closed the magazine and looked down at my knee. I had injured it last night on RAW when I faced Krystal. He landed on my knee all weird and it hurt like hell. Of course I didn't tell anyone because they would tell Vince. I looked up at the TV where it was entertainment news.

'In other couples news a power WWE couple is on the rocks! Carrie Cena claimed that her marriage to John Cena was over in a local bar after a live Draft last night. The two fought in the club over things that had been boiling the past few months. Eventually Carrie said that she wanted a divorce, then ran outside and started to drive off. John…'

Amy ran up to the TV to shut it off. But my eyes were stilled glued to it. I was trying so hard to forget that night. But it kept popping up on me. The lady who ran the spa came out to say that our rooms were ready. Everyone let me go first as I headed to the first room. It was the room with the mud bath. I stripped down and got in. As I sat there with my head back, I couldn't help it. I lifted my head and started to cry. The tears ran down my mud stained face as I tried to wipe the tears away. As I cried, I knew this battle was far from over.


	8. Just What I Need

Three hours later me and the ladies came out of all of our rooms back in our normal clothes. Ashley seemed bubbly and couldn't stop looking at her new black streaks in her hair. Trish kept staring at the real diamonds put on her manicured nails. Amy had her mirror and kept looking at her self. I snapped my fingers to bring us back to earth.

"OK now we have to head to our building."

"Wait…we get a whole building?"

"Yeah."

"Dude that's sweet! I'm gonna be the first one there!"

"Not if I beat you punk."

"Bring it on Red."

Amy and Ashley dashed in front of Trish and I as they raced to our building. I smiled and Trish laughed as we slowly followed behind. Trish looked over at me and got a concerned look on her face.

"Your not well."

"Why would I? I don't know what's left of my marriage."

"Come on Carrie. Do you really want a divorce?"

I couldn't answer that question. I honestly didn't know what I wanted. Divorce never popped into my mind really. Occasionally it brushed past my mind when John and I would get in serious fights. But I never said the word out loud. Now I did and it was out, did I really want to draw the papers? As we reached the building Ashley was out of breath as Amy pranced around Ashley.

"I won! You lost! Ha ha ha!"

"Shut it! I haven't been to the gym in ages!"

"That doesn't…"

Amy stopped mid sentence as she looked through the building to the back terrace. Ashley looked to and her eyes grew wide. I was oblivious because I was still wrapped up in my own thoughts. Trish nudged me to look. As I did, my jaw dropped. A certain platinum blonde man was standing on the terrace with his favorite drink in his hand. What was Ken doing here? Us four girls walked slowly into the building. Ken turned to see all of us. She smiled slightly and walked toward us. I slowed down and hid behind Trish.

"Ladies."

"Hey Ken. What are you doing here?"

"Ummm…do you mind if Carrie and I talk in private for a while?"

Trish moved over so I could see him. I couldn't believe how amazingly handsome he looked. He wore fitting blue jeans with a plain black t-shirt. The girls all looked at us and walked away to the nearest worker to find out where we would stay. Ken and I stood there in silence for a while. Ken stifled a cough and talked.

"So…"

"Why are you here Ken?"

"I have news. Bad news."

"Uhhh…and you couldn't have called me?"

"I did. But your phone was off. Everyone has been trying to call you about this."

"Is it that serious?"

"I wanted you to hear it from me. That's why I came down here."

"So tell me already."

Ken sighed, put his hands in his pockets, looked down and shifted his weight from foot to foot. I knew what this meant. Whenever Ken did this something was bothering him and whatever he was gonna say was bad. Usually what followed was pretty bad so I was getting nervous.

"Ken. Tell me."

"John is on the verge of committing suicide. No lie. Right now he's at his home in West Newbury in his room. He locked himself in and is holding a gun to his own head. Police are trying to reason with him and…"

I put my hand up to stop him. I needed to process this. John was on the verge of killing himself. I fell to a chair and ran my fingers through my hair. Then I took my phone out of my purse and whipped it open. I turned it on to find that I had like 50 voicemails and my inbox was full. Ken sat down next to me and put his arm around me. I know he was trying to make me feel better. I dialed John's home phone. I needed to know first hand what was going on. After 3 rings someone answered.

"Carrie? Oh thank god you've called!"

"Mr. Cena? Please tell me what I've been hearing isn't true."

"It is. He just won't put the gun down."

"Let me talk to him."

"But…"

"LET ME TALK TO HIM!"

I basically yelled into the phone. But I didn't care. Tears were starting to roll down my face now. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the girls looking at me. I could hear Mr. Cena run and pound on the door and shout something. I heard a door quick open and close. I figured John grabbed the phone.

"Carrie? Baby? Is that you?"

"John what the fuck do you think your doing?! This is no way to handle a situation!"

"Your leaving me. I'm sorry for what I did OK? There I said it! Now please say you won't leave me and I'll drop the gun. Please Carrie…"

By this point I was pretty much bawling. The girls all ran out and crowded around me. Ken told them to move back and give me some air. I didn't know what to say at this point. I didn't want him to kill himself. But I didn't want to say I wouldn't leave him because I didn't know what I wanted.

"Carrie! Please say you still love me!"

I didn't know if I did. I didn't know anything about me anymore. Hell I didn't know who I was. I took a breath (more like 6 short ones between my tears) and said what I needed to say.

"John please don't do this. I don't know if I meant what I said last night OK? I don't know anything. But I know that I'm still thinking about it. John I could still love you but I just don't know. Please John. Don't do this. You have so much to live for!"

The line went dead. John had hung up. No. No no no no no he couldn't do this!

"John? JOHN!!"

I threw my phone in the grass and sobbed. Ken put both arms around me and tried to comfort me. The girls stood there shocked. John could not kill himself. Soon my phone rang again. Trish ran to the phone and picked it up.

"John? Oh Mr. Cena…he put the gun down? Police have it…is he OK?...yes I will tell her…goodbye."

Trish snapped my phone shut and walked back over to us. I looked up at her. We all looked at her for information.

"John put the gun down. The police have it. He's sitting on his porch right now…crying. Sniffling is what is dad said but…"

I dug my head into Ken's chest. Damn he smelt good. I think I gave him this cologne. OK off that topic! Ken tightened his grip on me. I heard the girls talk in a low whisper and I heard them walk away. Ken and I sat outside for what seemed like hours, but it was only minutes.

"He'll be fine Car. Trust me."

"I don't know Ken! I don't know who I am or what I want!"

Ken lifted my head so I could see him. His eyes were the deepest hazel eyes. Some days they could be bluish too. I was amazed that he wasn't snapping on any gum.

"Hey. Your Carrie Cena. Until you draw those papers and they are signed by both of you, you will be Carrie Cena. You are WWE's top diva and my best friend. Is that good enough for now?"

I nodded my head slowly. He kissed the top of my head and gave me one last hug. Then he got up and helped me up. He looked at me and laughed.

"Shut up I know I look bad."

"It's OK. Well I should head out."

"Wait."

"What?"

"Well…you came all this way…why don't you stay? For a couple days. I can have the girls call some of their guys down."

"Ummm…sure."

I smiled as I took his hand and dragged him inside. But instead he pulled be back and in and kissed me. God how I missed his lips. The kiss last night was nothing like I had ever experienced. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I slowly gave in to him. Soon he pulled his lips away from mine, leaving me wanting more. We both smiled as we walked into the hotel. Someone showed us where the room. When we walked in, I gasped. The room was like a suite times a million! Ashley came from one of the rooms.

"Are you OK?"

"Yeah. Hey does anyone care if Ken stays?"

"Nope!"

All three replied as Amy and Trish walked out of the bathroom. Ken laughed and sat down on a couch and pulled me down with him.

"So…can we call people?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh my god yes! I can finally see Dave!"

"WHAT!"

All four of us looked at Ashley in surprise. She didn't tell us she was going out with Dave! Ashley looked as us.

"Shit. I wasn't supposed to tell."

"That so awesome Ash! I'm going to go call Ron! Ames who you going to call?"

"Ummm…Matt…"

"Why?"

"Because I still love him! I mean…"

Amy put her hand over her mouth. We all looked at her. He ran off to her room and slammed the door. Ashley opened her phone and dialed Dave's number. Trish was already on the phone with Ron. I looked back at Ken who gave me a reassuring smile. Maybe I would know who I was by the time this vacation would be done.

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**Like it? I hope you did! I was hesitant at first to put in John almost killing himself in here. But I did. So I hope you liked it! Please review!**

**Next chapter: The guys arrive in St. Johns and they all head out for the night. How will Carrie's and Ken's relationship heat up? What will happen next? Stay tuned!**


	9. The Verdict

**OK this is the real chappie! Sorry about the other one! I forgot to upload the document. Anyways, enjoy! And please review!**

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The next day at around 5 we all piled into a car to pick up Matt, Ron and Dave at the airport. Before we did we all went out to eat and did a little shopping. I was having the time of my life with Ken. We would sneak kisses when no one was watching. But as I did, I still didn't know if I wanted a divorce from John. Anyways, so we were all in a car when my phone rings. I look at the ID so see whose calling. It was John's number. I hesitated to answer at first, but then I did.

"Hello?"

"Carrie? It's Mr. Cena again."

"Oh hello. How is…John?"

"No better, no worse. He hasn't left that damned rocking chair on our porch since yesterday. He only leaves to pee."

"Has he eaten anything?"

"Nope."

"He hasn't done anything?"

"Not at all. Carrie, I don't want you to lie. But John really needs to know what you're going to do about this marriage."

I looked up to see everyone looking at me. I held up a finger to signal 1 minute. I hadn't thought about what I was going to do at all. But now that John's dad has brought it up…what was I going to do? I didn't want to leave John waiting any longer.

"Tell John…I don't know yet."

I hung up the phone. It hurt me to keep him waiting. But what was I going to do? Lie to the man? I sighed as Ken put his arm around me and kissed the top of my head. I smiled and leaned into him. After about 20 minutes, we reached the airport. The girls all fought to get out first. Ken and I laughed as we waited for everyone to get out. As they fought Ken turned my head and kissed me again. I couldn't help but smile as I kissed him back. Then Ken let me get out first and he followed. We all waited at the doors for the guys to come through. The first guy we all saw walking through was Dave. Ashley squealed as she ran up to him after he came through the doors.

"I take it you missed me."

"Duh!"

Dave laughed as he gave Ashley a light kiss on the lips. Then he hugged Amy and Trish and shook Ken's hand. Then he turned his attention to me.

"So..."

OK let me stop the story here for a second. History lesson! Back in 2004, while I managed Evolution, Dave and I had a little…hook up. It went on for about 2 weeks. Then Hunter found out and threatened that if we didn't end it he would tell Angie and John about us. So we ended it quietly and went our separate ways. Of course there was a relapse. Back in August 2006, I was on both brands. So one night there were top many stars in one room and the hotel clerk asked if 2 people would volunteer to go into another room. Dave volunteered us. That night…things happened. The next morning I find out that Dave loved me and I called off whatever would have happened. Things really haven't been the same between us since. And…John doesn't know about any of this. And let's keep it this way OK? Anyways, back to the story!

"Nice to see you again Dave."

"How have you been faring? Do you know what you're going to do yet?"

"Not a…"

"Ron!"

We all turned to Trish as she walked up to her husband and embraced him in a hug. All of us girls 'awwed' at this. This was the kind of marriage we all wanted. Of course, I had it. But look where I am now. Trish introduced everyone and then went on to talk about him. Amy was still staring at the door, waiting for Matt. But instead we saw…

"Adam?"

Adam Copeland walked through the doors and looked at us. Of course, we were all shocked. Amy and Adam had gone out for a brief time before calling it quits. Since Amy had retired we all thought Adam had rid her for good.

"What are you doing here?"

"Matt couldn't make it. He called me and told me so. Ames…I need to talk to you."

"But…"

Adam pulled Amy away and started to talk to her. It seemed like they were yelling at each other. This went on for quite a while. Soon we all got engulfed in our own conversations. Ashley and Dave were talking in a low voice together. Ron was telling Trish about the pipe that had leaked in their house. I sighed as I looked at Ken.

"What?"

"I think I know what to do."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. But can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"If I got a divorce from John, would you be with me?"

Ken looked at me a little shocked. Shit, I know it was too early to ask this. I should just not get a divorce and be done with it. I was about to say something before Ken grabbed me and pulled me in for a passionate kiss. Whenever he had kissed me, I felt so light. He finally pulled away and tucked some hair behind my ear.

"Of course I would."

I smiled as I took out my phone. I walked to the end of a walkway at the airport and dialed my lawyer's number. Within 2 rings he answered.

"Let me guess. You want me to draw up divorce papers."

"Yeah. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes Carrie I can. I'm just so sad that this would happen. Are you sure?"

Was I? Did I really want to do this? John would go off the edge once he found out. I didn't want to do anything to John that he would hurt himself. But if I didn't, I would be living a lie.

"Yes. I'm sure."

"OK. I'll draw them up tomorrow."

Then he hung up on me. I slowly snapped my phone shut. It was a done deal. I was getting a divorce from John Felix Anthony Cena. I was no longer Carrie Cena. The deal was done. I was finally…free.

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**So she did it! She decided to get the divorce, and now she has Ken. Do you agree with her decision?**

**Next chapter: Everyone goes out and Amy recommends they all see a psychic. But this psychic doesn't see a good future for Carrie. How will it affect her decision? And will the prediction be such a wake up call for her that she will call the divorce off? Tune in next time!**


	10. Only The Beginning

As soon as everyone was ready, we all piled into the car and drove around. None of us knew what was around here. I use to, but I totally forgot. Too many drunken nights around here with Randy…don't ask. That's for another day. So we were driving around when Amy pointed at something.

"Hey a psychic! Let's go!"

"Babe come on. The person is probably a fake."

"Come on guys! It'll be fun!"

"I'm agreeing with Adam. It doesn't sound good."

"You only agree Dave because you both are men!"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

As everyone fought over whether to see the damned psychic, Ken and I just leaned back in our seats. I kept staring out the window, watching the scenery go by me. It seemed like my life was like this. Just passing me by so fast. And it was like I could barely see it go by. Ken looked out the window also.

"What are we looking at?"

"My life."

"Wow. It's pretty damn bright."

I laughed as I leaned into Ken and kissed him. If I could have it my way I would have sex with him right there and then. But there were too many people. I decided to tune back into the conversation over going to the psychic. Too bad I did.

"So it's decided! We're going?"

"Unfortunately."

"Yes! Trust me you'll thank me when we go!"

Amy told the driver to turn around and to go back to the psychic place. I sighed and looked around the limo. Ashley and Dave were talking quietly while holding and un-holding hands. Trish and Ron were on their phones about the pipe in their house. Adam was trying to calm Amy down since she was all giddy for the psychic. Someone's phone started to ring. We all looked to Ken, since it was his. He smiled weakly and answered his phone.

"Hello? Yeah I'm here with her…yeah she's fine…I don't know…it has? Seriously? That was fast…you want to talk to her? OK…"

Ken looked at me and handed me the phone. I took the phone and looked at him confused. He mouthed to me 'It's Vince.' That's when I didn't want to talk to him. But I sucked it up and I talked to him.

"Hello?"

"What mind do you have divorcing John?!"

"Excuse me?"

"It's already hit media waves! It's all over the country. I have corporate on my ass! I'm supposed to know what happens first to all my stars!"

"I'm…I'm sorry Vince. It was just a sudden decision."

"Did you alert John you were going to do this?"

"Uhhh…he knew it was coming."

"Good. Now I don't have to deal with another star attempting to kill themselves."

With that, Vince hung up the phone. I sighed as I handed the phone back to Ken. Ken gave me a kiss on the cheek as I nestled my head into his chest. It was peaceful just sitting there listening to his heartbeat. I wanted to stay like that forever. Soon the car came to a stop.

"We're here! We're here!"

Amy climbed over everyone and was the first one out. Adam sighed and rolled his eyes as he followed after her. We all laughed and followed Adam. We got outside and looked at the big neon sign. Amy was so giddy looking at it.

"Are we ready?! OK let's go!"

Guess that answered the question for all of us. But I wasn't ready. I didn't want to do this in the first place. But I had no choice. I never have a choice.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Present Day**

I lean back to the couch as John tries taking this all in. I'm telling him the story from beginning to end. I still can't bear to tell him about my flings with Dave. I decide to keep that hidden for the while. John sighs as he leans forward and looks at me.

"I can't believe you Carrie." John finally says.

"I know John. But that was ages ago." I plead with him.

John doesn't seem to be budging with his decision. He looks down at the papers. I hope that he throws them out the window, or burns them or something. But John doesn't move from the spot he's in. He just doesn't move at all. Maybe it's because it hurts for him to move. He is injured after all.

"Why would you have done that to me Carrie?" John asks me.

"God John I don't know. I was so caught up in the moment and…I actually thought Ken cared for me." A said, shuddering at the last thing I said.

"But I still loved you Carrie. Didn't that cross your mind at all?" John asks.

"It did! But…I didn't know if I loved you. I didn't want to be with you if I had mixed emotions. It would be unfair to you. I knew I loved Ken then. But now baby. I love you now." I plead with him again.

This time John leans back in his chair. He's been in that chair since he came home from surgery. It's the same chair he stayed in while I was on vacation with Ken. He wipes away tears that form in his eyes, but he makes it look like he's only itching his eyes. But I know him well enough to know what he's doing.

"How am I certain of that Carrie?" John asks.

"I flew here from a house show when I learned you were home and I've been here every single day taking care of you. My career is at stake for being here with you, but I don't care! Because I love you!" I started to shout.

John sighs and stands up to face me. I feel like were opponents in the ring sizing up each other. He would win since he's 6'1 and I'm only 5'7. John is now really close to my face. I'm trying to fight the urge to kiss him, but I don't know why I'm fighting it. Why don't I? I try to but he moves away and sits back down.

"Continue on about the story. I want to hear more." John demands of me.

I sigh as I fall to the couch. I hate this situation. I wish I never kissed Ken during that night on RAW. I want everything to be back to the way it was. But I have to live with this regret. So I have to go on.

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**Yes it's been forever and I'm forever sorry! But right now I have school, drivers ed, a 20 page letter to self and homework on my plate! So the weekends are almost my free time. Sorry the chapter is short or sucks…it sucks when you don't write for 2 weeks!**

**Next chapter: so now the psychic tells Carrie her future. Plus, another present day encounter. Please tune in next time! And please review!**


	11. The Road Less Traveled

We all filed in and sat on the red velvet couches. Amy ran up to the front desk and waited for someone to come by. Everyone looked around the place. The walls were a deep purple with a yellow stripe across the top. Some weird Indian music was filling up the room. Beads were used as doors and made noise at the slightest movement. The lights were dimmed and were covered by an orange sheet to cast an orange glow. Someone came from the back and looked at all of us.

"Can I help you?"

"We want readings! From the psychic!"

"How many of you?"

"Uhhh…raise your hand if you want one!"

Trish and Ashley raised their hands. Dave and Adam slowly rose theirs. I sighed as I rose mine. Amy turned around and counted hands.

"OK so that's 1, 2…8!"

"What? Babe we all don't want one."

"But we're all getting one! 8 please."

"Alright. I will tell Madame Busche about you. We will take 20 minutes to set up."

The guy bowed before going to the back. The beads made a noise and swayed back in forth. The guys moaned in disagreement because they didn't want one. I sighed as I looked over at Ken. He was looking around the place. Ashley got up and dragged Dave with her as they went to go look at a wall of fame. Ron was talking to Adam about the rock band Kiss. Trish was trying to follow the conversation, but looked confused. And Amy was playing with the beads on one of the doors. I was going to ask Ken a question but then Ashley yelled something.

"Carrie! You're on the wall!"

I looked at Ashley confused. I was? We all rushed over and looked at the picture hanging up. Sure enough, I was in the picture. It must have been taken back in the 90's when WWE was down here for something. There was some lady in a sari (probably Madame Busche) along with Terry, Roddy, Shawn, Jimmy Snuka, Bret, Miss Elizabeth, Sherri and Luna. I looked really short and dorky compared to everyone else. Soon everyone dispersed but I stayed to look at it. I remembered that night. No wonder I recognized this place! I smiled at the picture. I wished I could have gone back in time. Then Madame Bushe came out through the beads. She looked at all of us.

"Welcome to Madame Busches reading! I am…Madame Busche! Well…looks like we have some entertainers here. Let's see…Trish, Batista, Edge, Lita, Ashley, Mr. Kennedy and…"

When Madame saw me, she gasped. Her eyes grew wide and her jaw dropped. I looked at her. Why was she acting like this? Maybe she remembered me.

"Carrie! Can it be? You have come back to me! Come! You must be first!"

With that, she went back to the back room. I stood there confused. Well…that was weird. But she wanted me first. I started walking there before Ken pulled me down and kissed me. I smiled as I got up and went through the beads. This wouldn't be so bad…right?

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

I walked into a small room with two purple velvet chairs and a lone table with a crystal ball on it. I stayed standing by the beads. This place gave me the creeps. Then Madame came back and sat down. I decided to sit down across from her. She took out her cards and shuffled them. Then she looked up and smiled. She took my hands and held them in hers. The bracelets on her arm jingled.

"It's so nice to see you again. I told you! You would be coming back! Remember?"

"No, not really."

"Well Madame does. Madame remembers everything! Now, let's take a look shall we?"

Madame took out her cards and laid them out. She shuffled them again and spread them out. She moved her hands across the cards until she found one. She flipped it over and put it in front of me. In the picture was a lone child sitting in a big chair. The room was dimmed and dark.

"Hmmm…having some hard times darling?"

"Yeah. Going through a divorce is hard."

"Oh no! You and John are divorcing? Why? Tell Madame."

"Just…it's complicated."

"Madame will find out dearie. Anyways, you are going through hard times. They seem to be lasting for a great amount of time. You may find yourself lonely at times, even when your not."

Madame moved her hands across the cards again and picked out another one. This one was just a big burst of light. I think it was supposed to be the sun. In it was an image of someone. Was it Ken? That creeped me out!

"Ah! A light at the end of a dark tunnel? I take it its Kennedy."

"Yes. One of the reasons the divorce happened."

"Oh he seems to have brightened your life. Your attitude and presence seems lighter and brighter since you last walked in. This happiness will be there for you when you need it."

Then Madame picked another card. This one was plain black. Madame gasped and looked at it. She looked worried. I looked at it. There was no image hidden in the card. What was the big deal? Madame looked at me with wide eyes.

"Carrie…you must stop."

"Stop what?"

"The life you are living! The path your on isn't a good one! It will only lead to bad! Get off it now!"

"How? How do I get off it?"

"Go back to the norm Carrie. Withdraw this divorce and leave Ken. Ken is hiding something from you that will lead to darkness and depression in the end."

"What? You just said he was my light."

"For now he is! But all light turns to darkness eventually. And this darkness isn't a pleasant one. Please Carrie. For your sake. Leave this man and get on the right path."

I couldn't believe what Madame was saying. Leave Ken? Go back to John? That made no sense! I was so much happier with Ken then I was with John! Madame must have been lying. I got up to leave, but Madame grabbed my arm.

"Before you go, promise Madame this. Promise Madame you will get off this path as soon as possible. Leave this man and go back to what is right."

I looked at Madame. She seemed dead serious. Then I looked through the door of beads. I saw Ken laughing along with Ashley about something. Madame wanted me to leave him for John? She must have been on something. Ken was my light. I was not giving up my light any time soon. I jerked my arm out of her grip and looked at her.

"Not a chance."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Present Day**

"You didn't listen?! Jesus Carrie psychics know their shit!" John was yelling.

"Like I was going to believe her! Most are fakes! John if you were in my situation you wouldn't have believed her either." I said calmly.

John got up and ran his free hand over his short hair. He sighs as he paces back and forth in the room. I can tell he trying to hold any tears he has in him back. But he breaks. Now he's freely crying. I debate whether to go over and comfort him or stay. I stay since he doesn't like me that much right now.

"John…I would of listened. I would of if I loved you then." I calmly tell him.

"If you loved me you wouldn't have been with Ken." John says.

He's right. I wouldn't have been. I probably wouldn't of kissed Ken that night on RAW. I sigh as John sits across from me once more. He wipes the tears away from his face and sniffles.

"John…I love you now. So please…don't divorce me." I plead.

John looks up at me from his chair. His blue eyes don't seem as warm and inviting as they usually do. They seem icy and cold now. It's almost scary to look at him now. His eyes narrow as he looks at me.

"I still don't believe you Carrie. I'm not going to withdraw these papers. Not till I'm convinced you love me. Not till I hear the whole truth." John finally says.

I sigh as I look at him frustrated. Why doesn't he just say he loves me already and end this? Why is he making me wait like this? I know he loves me; I know it. He just wants me to feel the pain that he did. This is understandable of course. I am telling him the truth! What more does he want? Oh…the whole story.

"What happened after that?" John said.

"Do you want after the whole thing?" I ask.

"Whatever." He says.

"Well…after all the readings…" I start saying…

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**So do you think John still loves her? Or is Carrie going insane? Hmmm…you tell me!**

**Next chapter: The next day, everyone decides to go to a nude beach. What fun huh? Tune in next time! And please review!**


	12. Baring It All

**The Next Morning**

"Wakey wakey eggs and bakey!"

I groaned as I rolled over so I didn't have to face Trish. Why the hell was she such a morning person? I slowly sat up in bed and shaded my eyes. The sun was so bright today. What happened last night? Oh yeah…that damned psychic. Amy came out of the bathroom brushing her hair.

"So sleeping beauty finally awakes."

"Shut up. Where's Ashley?"

"Getting the guys. They are at a whole different hotel. So get ready damn it!"

I groaned once more as I stepped out of bed. I stretched and looked in the mirror. My hair was a damn mess. I walked to the bathroom and brushed it. Then I brushed my teeth and washed my face. I looked up at my reflection.

Something about me was different. Why did I look so different? I seemed happier. Maybe it was just the weird lighting. Eh…who cares? I sighed as I leaned up against a wall. I wanted so badly to call John. But something was stopping me. Why couldn't I just pick up the phone and call him? I opened the door and walked out to the main room to all the guys sitting there.

"Woah…love the outfit Carrie."

I looked at Amy confused. Then I looked down at what I was wearing. Striped thong and a light pink cami. I groaned as I leaned against the wall. Ken got up and covered me.

"Hey! No looking!"

"We'll see more today."

Everyone looked over at Ashley. What in the hell did she mean? Ashley stood up and cleared her throat.

"Today…I think…we should all go to…a nude beach!"

Everyone was silent. You could hear anything. You could even hear everyone breathing! But I think a majority of us was holding our breaths.

A nude beach? Was Ashley crazy? Why would we go to a nude beach! We all didn't need to see what all of us had. I certainly didn't want see any of the guys naked. Even though I already saw Dave naked…that's not the point. The point was…

"Are you serious?! Do you know how aquward this is going to be?!"

"Come on Adam! Guys! It will be fun! Weird yes. But everyone goes to one once in their life. I already have!"

"But that's you Ash! We girls don't wanna see all the other guy's…junk. I'm sure the guys don't want to also."

"Please everyone? Give it a chance! We can always leave!"

No one spoke. I don't think anyone could. The guys shifted in their seats uncomfortably. The girls all swayed back and forth. I looked up at Ken. He had his back to me.

"Fine. We go. But we need rules."

"YES! We…rules?"

"Yes. Rules."

"Ummm…ok."

"Rule number one: no guy can look at another man's junk. Rule number two: no man can look at another girl's body. Just his girl and his girl only. Rule number three: no woman can look at another mans junk. Got it? Anyone else wanna add anything?"

Everyone pretty much stayed silent. Ken had basically said it all. I smiled at him, even though he couldn't see me. Ken always knew how to fix a situation.

"Alright then. Let's go!"

**xXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx**

One hour later, all of us were piling into one long limo once more. We all decided that we didn't have to go nude if we didn't want to. I would be one of the people who would stay clothed. I was wearing a gold metallic 2 piece that I stole from Candice last month. Ashley was the most excited. She was jumping up and down, But Dave made her stop when the driver was getting mad. Then we all had our own little conversations. I turned to Ken and kissed him on the cheek.

"What did I do to deserve that?"

"I don't know. Because you're cute."

"Really? Well then I'll take it!"

"Plus what you said back at the hotel. You always know the right thing to say."

"Not all the time. But thanks babe."

I smiled as Ken kissed me on the lips. I couldn't help but smile then as I gave into his kiss. His kisses were usually short but you could tell that they meant so much. As he pulled away he put his arm around me. I rested my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes. I was planning on taking a nap before we got there.

"We're here!!"

I opened my eyes immediately as we pulled into a parking lot. We all looked out our windows at the scene. Immediately I felt uncomfortable. I would be sitting among a throng of naked people. I looked over at Trish. We each gave each other the same look. We both wanted to leave this place. But we promised that we would give it a try. So we all got out following Ashley. We walked onto the beach and looked around. This was going to be different. Ashley laid out her stuff and looked at us.

"OK. Who's going _au natural?_"

I didn't even dare answer. I just put by stuff down and took off my daisy duke shorts. Ken already laid out the chair and I sat down with him. Thank god he was wearing a swimsuit.

"I'll go nude if you do Dave."

"Of course you would Adam."

"I'm serious man! Come on man. Try something new!"

Dave sighed as he started taking his swimsuit off. Adam smiled as he slipped his off too. I immediately looked away. Trish and Ron were sitting right next to us. Ron was wearing a swimsuit and a white shirt. I could tell he was uncomfortable also. But Trish, being the saint she is, gave him full attention. She was only talking to him, telling him how he was the hottest guy here. I smiled at Trish. She was so nice. I finally decided to look over to see that Amy and Ashley had gone nude too.

"OK Carrie your turn!"

"You crazy Ames?"

"Yes I am! You too Ken. Take it off!"

"Why aren't you pestering Trish and Ron?"

"Because I made a deal with them that I wouldn't bother them. Come on guys!"

I sighed as I looked up at Ken. He looked back at me. I could totally read his mind. 'I will if you will.' I sighed as I untied my top and dropped it to the sand. Ashley and Amy whooped and hollered. Ron and Trish looked us and actually took their stuff and moved away. Trish looked back and I stuck my tongue out at her. She laughed as she took Ron's hand as they walked. I looked up at Ken, who looked shocked.

"OK big man. Your turn."

"Are you serious?"

"Hey I did it!"

"But your half naked. Technically I am too."

"But yours shouldn't count because you can have your shirt off all the time. We girls can't. Please?"

I stuck my bottom lip out and made my eyes really big. I even bat my eyelashes. Ken seemed to be giving in. It always worked on John. Ken sighed as he stood up and slid his trunks off. Amy and Ashley laughed as they looked away. I laughed as he sat down. I slid next to him and kissed him.

"Thank you."

"Oh you so owe me."

"I know."

"Let's go somewhere alone tonight. Just you and me. OK?"

"OK."

Ken kissed me lightly before finally relaxing. I smiled as I laid my head against his shoulder. I had a feeling that today was going to be a good day. Sure, I was half naked on a nude beach. But that didn't matter to me. All that mattered was that I was with Ken. And if you're with the one you love, that's all that matters right?

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**I don't know about you…but I would be pretty uncomfortable! Please review!**

**Next chapter: Ken and Carrie go out alone for the night. What could possibly happen? Tune in next time!**


	13. Having Doubts?

**A/N: First things first! I want to say congratulations to Ken Kennedy who is getting married this weekend in my hometown of Minneapolis! Congratulations!**

**xXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx**

I stood in front of the mirror looking at the outfit that I had on. Then I tore it off and let the clothes fall to the floor. I was having the hardest time picking out an outfit for Ken. Everyone else went out to dinner tonight as a group. Ken and I were going on a separate date. I wanted to look so perfect for him. I stood in front on my suitcase in a thong and a bra. Then I walked over to Trish's suitcase and opened it. She had to have something in here for me! I threw all of Trish's clothes on the floor. Then I found it. It was the perfect dress. I slipped it on and looked at myself. It was a black satin low v-neck dress what stopped right above the knee. There was a pink satin ribbon over the waist. It was the perfect dress. I put on my black sandals and grabbed my clutch. I couldn't help but to admit that I looked hot. I smiled as I heard a knock on the door. I looked at the clock by the bed. 7:00 right on the dot. I walked over to the door and opened it to see Ken standing there. Once he saw me, his jaw dropped. I could see his gum sitting in the corner of his mouth.

"Wow."

"Hi to you too."

"You look…wow."

"You too."

I gave Ken a light kiss on the cheek and then led him in. I went around the hotel turning off all the lights. I kept the little lamp by the bed on. I turned around and faced Ken. He had a blue box in his hand. I looked at him confused.

"What's the box for?"

"Come here and I'll show you."

I smiled coyly as I walked over to Ken. Each step I took his smile seemed to grow bigger. When I reached him I smiled at him. I tried to grab the box but he held it over his head. I looked at him and pouted.

"Turn around."

"What?"

"Just turn around."

I looked at him confused, but then reluctantly turned around. I heard him open the box and sigh. I felt cold metal against my chest as he put a necklace around me. I was so tempted to look down at it but I decided to wait.

"OK. Go take a look."

I walked slowly to the mirror. What would I see? A beautiful diamond necklace? When I got to the mirror, I gasped. You know how Kennedy has that logo with the two K's back to back? That's that was necklace. One of the K's was blue and the other was white. Ken came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. He rested his chin on my shoulder as he gave me a kiss on the cheek. I ran my fingers over the diamonds.

"Those are real you know. Not the shitty plastic ones."

"I know. It's so beautiful. Thank you."

I turned around and kissed Ken lightly. As I pulled away I smiled. Ken took my hand and led me out the door. As we walked down the hall's my smile wouldn't disappear from my face. It was like I had it plastered on there. We got into the elevator and I pressed the 'lobby' button. Once the thing dinged Ken pulled me in for a more passionate kiss. I gave in as he had me pinned against the elevator wall. His lips moved slowly from mine to my neck.

"Ken…not now."

"Why? We have time."

Suddenly the elevator dinged and the doors opened. I smirked at Ken.

"No we don't."

Ken pouted as I laughed and stepped out of the elevator. Ken followed me, still pouting. I laughed and gave him one more light kiss. He stopped pouting as we walked outside to the warm air. My driver drove up in a black hummer. He got out of the driver seat and opened the door for me. I got in as Ken walked around to the driver's side.

"So where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

"Am I dressed for the occasion?"

"You always are."  
I smiled as Ken started the car and started driving. As Ken kept his eyes on the road I kept my eyes on him. That was until my phone started ringing. I looked in my purse to see who was calling. Lo and behold…it was John. I pressed the 'ignore' button and shut my purse. I didn't want to talk to John yet. I would tomorrow. But tonight I would be out with Ken. Nothing would ruin that.

**xXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx**

**Two hours later**

"OK. Truth or Dare?"

"I pick Truth."

"But you always pick that!"

"I know!"

Ken gave me a cheesy smile as I laughed. We finished dinner and we were walking on the beach. Ken got the idea to play Truth or Dare. Ken had picked Truth every single time. Of course, I usually picked Dare. The last Dare he made me do was to make a DX sign saying 'Suck It!' and tape it to the back window. A cop almost pulled us over for it but we took it down. Now it was my turn to ask him a question. I had to think of a really REALLY good one.

"Why do you like me?"

Ken looked at me like the answer was so obvious. But I always wondered about this whenever I was with any guy. I always thought that I had so many flaws. Ken sighed as he ran his hand over his bleached blond hair. Then he wrapped his arms around me and smiled.

"What isn't there to like about you? You have the greatest personality. I love the way you always make me laugh. You have the most beautiful eyes. Through all that's been happening with you and John you are basically positive. You just have this thing about you to make anyone smile. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Does that answer your question?"

It did. It answered the question and more. I looked into his deep blue eyes. For a second I thought I actually saw John. I blinked to see that it was actually Ken. I found myself missing John's arms around me. Hearing John's voice say all those things about me. I looked away quickly and wiped a quick tear away. I looked back at Ken and smiled.

"Yes. It did."

Ken pulled me in for a long kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave in to him. He pulled away from me and smiled.

"Why don't continue this back at my place?"

"Agreed."

Ken took my hand and led me up a hill. I looked down at my hand and realized that I had left my heels back on the sand.

"Hang on!"

I let go of Ken's hand and ran down the hill. I found my heels right where Ken and I were standing. I picked them up and started walking back. But something sparkly caught my eye. I bent down to see a ring in the sand. I picked it up to realize…

It was my ring.

Where did that come from? Did I always have it with me tonight? Then I realized that we were at the nude beach from earlier. It must have fallen out of my bag. I held the ring up to the moonlight. It was more beautiful then when John first gave it to me. I dropped the ring in my purse and wiped away any tears._ 'Get yourself together Carrie' _I thought, _'You have to move on.' _

"Did you find them?"

I looked up at Ken from the bottom of the hill. To see him in the moonlight was like heaven. I smiled as I stood up and waved my heels in the air.

"Yeah. I got them."

I walked back up the hill to be welcomed by another kiss. I took Ken's hand as he led me back to the car. I couldn't help but think about my ring at the bottom of my purse. What was I going to do with it? Get rid of it? Would John want it back? I looked down to see the necklace Ken had given me earlier in the night. I took it into my hand and squeezed it tight. I had to move on. And I was.

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**I'm so sorry for lack of updates! Ugh I feel horrible...please review!**

**Next chapter: We fast forward a month to August. Ken and Carrie are still together. When Carrie sees John face to face in over a month, what happens? Tune in next time!**


	14. Was It Worth It?

**A/N: Yes I am the author formally known as cenagirl5421. I changed my pen name just so I could try something new. I've had the same pen name for over a year and I figured it was time for a change. Well enjoy the story!**

**One Month Later**

The car ride to the arena was extremely longer then I thought it would be. Because of what happened at the draft last month and me taking a vacation without Vince's consent Vince suspended me for 30 days. It's been over a month since I had been on RAW. I was both ready for it and totally not ready for what would happen. While I was suspended I didn't regret that trip for a thing. Ken and I had grown closer while we were there. Over the month I had been gone Ken was still tending to his injury, so we got to spend more time together. Within that month I was falling more and more in love with him.

But today would be different.

Today I would probably see John. But I would try my hardest to avoid him at all costs. In all honesty, it's not that hard to avoid someone. The arena is so god damn huge! I was sure that it would be easy for me to hide from him. My driver pulled into the side entrance of the arena so I could get out. To add to my nervousness Vince was standing outside waiting for me. I sighed as I got out of the car. Vince walked over to me slowly as I got my bags out of the car. I turned around and shook Vince's hand.

"Glad to have you back Carrie. Now I know…"

"Just tell me where my room is Vince. I'm in no mood to talk."

"You're in the diva locker room. You don't have your own room anymore. You're…"

"I get it. I'm not married to Cena anymore."

"Yes. Listen…Carrie…I'm sorry that I didn't call about…"

"That's a little over due Vince. Instead of you apologizing your secretary called and left a voice mail on my cell. That's really sincere Vince."

"Like I said…I'm sorry."

"Save it Vince. It's done and over with."

I walked past Vince and headed into the arena. Yeah, I was happy to see Vince. But I was pissed off at him. Why might you ask? He didn't call me on June 25.

If it's all the same to you…I'd rather not talk about it. In fact, you probably know what I'm talking about.

So Vince didn't even bother to call me to come to the show. He didn't call so I could do a video like everyone else. I sat by that damn phone crying my eyes out while Ken was called to go to the arena. I waited all day for my call. By the time RAW started, I knew it was useless to wait anymore. So the next morning I find a voice mail on my phone. It was from Vince's secretary. She told me that he was very sorry for not calling me.

Oh whatever.

So I got into the building and looked around. I couldn't help but wipe a tear away. Despite all that happened last time I was here I couldn't help but miss being here. I looked on the board to see if I was in the line up tonight. Sure enough, I was. I would be in a match with Candice against Beth and Melina. I also noticed that Ken would be facing Super Crazy. I sighed. Well Ken did have to start somewhere again. I shook my head as I walked down the empty hall. As I was walking past the curtain, I stopped. I turned and looked at the curtain. Seemed like only yesterday the whole thing happened.

_FLASHBACK_

_I started to tap my foot. I hadn't seen Ken anywhere! Where the hell was he? I watched the match on the monitor. In the end Randy won the battle royal for RAW. We all erupted in cheers. Smackdown and ECW just sneered. We looked to see who we got. Snitsky. No big deal. He pushed past all of us and went out for a brief stint. Then he pushed us all back as he walked away. Then I looked up again. The last draft pick was…Ken! RAW got Ken! I looked around to find him. I saw his back as he stepped out to the arena. I ran back to Candice and jumped up and down with her._

"_We got Ken! We got Ken!"_

"_Oh stop gloating you too. We lost a good wrestler."_

"_We didn't pick it Michelle so McCool it."_

_All the divas laughed at that one. I saw Ken come back. This is where the car crashes. This is where the bad ending begins. This is where it all happens. I firstly walked slowly to him. When he saw me, he smiled. I suddenly broke into a run. I don't know why I did. At this point I felt like I couldn't control my body. Suddenly I felt his arms around my legs holding me up. Then I felt his lips against mine. That's when it happened. That's when we kissed. _

_END FLASHBACK_

"Brings back memories doesn't it?"

I immediately stopped my day dreaming at the sound of an all too familiar voice. The person I planned on hiding from was right behind me. I turned slowly to see him standing there with his things.

I turned to see John standing staring at me.

God. Damn. It.

**xXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx**

"I guess you could say so."

I didn't know what else I could say. I knew that 'hey what's up?' was totally out of the question. For a while John and I stood in an all too aquward silence. I figured that nothing else was going to happen, so I started to turn around to walk away.

"Why did you leave Carrie?"

I stopped turning. Damn it why did he have to ask me that question? I sighed as I wiped another tear from my eyes. I turned back to look at him. He looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep the past few days. I looked to see that he still had his ring on. When I saw that it hurt my heart even more. Now I felt even worse then I did before.

"John we went over this…"

"No. We didn't. Our lawyers did. But we didn't. Please tell me Carrie. I need to know."

I didn't want to tell him that I left him because of Ken. That was pretty much one of the man factors that I did. His question made me remember our big fight back at Water and Ice that night on June 11.

_FLASHBACK_

_John was sitting in one of the seats. This wasn't going to be pleasant. I walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder._

"_So you came?"_

"_Too bad I did. I got to see you hook up with Randy."_

"_What the fuck are you thinking? We were dancing which you hate!"_

"_Oh so it's my fault now?"_

"_What is?"_

"_You walking out on me in the arena! You kissing Ken! It's all my fault!"_

"_Actually…it is!"_

_I caused John to push his chair back that it fell over. He stood up and looked at me. His fists were balled up and his knuckles were turning white. The whole club stopped what they were doing and watched us._

"_How is it my fault? We were fine!"_

"_No. You think we were fine. You weren't the one up at tree in the morning crying over something you didn't know! You're not the one not knowing why you were crying!"_

"_Well why were you?"_

"_Damn John I just told you! I don't know! But not that I think about it, let me name off some reasons. You said you would change and you still haven't! You lie to me! You never admit your wrong! Do I need to say more?"_

"_What about you huh? You were lying to me. All those times you said that everything was fine! I guess they weren't! Tell me Carrie! What's going on in that stupid head of yours!"_

_The music stopped and the lights turned on. Like people really needed to see what was going on. It was bad enough that everyone could hear us. The next words that came out of my mouth surprised everyone, even me._

"_I think you could change for someone you loved. I'm thinking about leaving you and getting a divorce. How's that for thinking?"_

_I burst into tears and ran off. I pushed people out of my way and made it to the front. I ran to the car I came in and got in. Thank god Torrie gave me the keys. Otherwise I would be walking at this point. As I pulled out of the parking lot, I saw John come out of the club. The stars and club goers emptied out with him. He ran on my side of the car._

"_Baby come on! You're not serious!"_

_I stopped the car and rolled down the window. I faced the man whom I thought was my husband. I saw Ken in the background. He just nodded at me. I knew what I had to do._

"_Oh hell yeah I am."_

_END FLASHBACK_

"John please don't make me explain this again…"

"Explain what again? Why you left me? You never gave me a clear reason."

"OK. You wanna know why again? I'll tell you. You cheated on me with Maria. You told me you would change and you didn't. You lied to me John. What else do you need to know?"

"That doesn't mean that you needed to run off and go kiss Ken."

"Maybe it didn't to you. But I know I did it for a reason."

"What is the reason then?"

"I don't know John! I'm just…I'm just better off without you."

OK, that was really harsh. And the moment I heard those words come out of my mouth I knew it. John sighed as he looked up to the ceiling. Then he rummaged through his carry on for something.

"John I…"

John took out an envelope and threw it at me. I caught it before it could hit me. I opened it to see the divorce papers. Had he really signed them? I looked to the last page to see…

That he didn't sign the papers.

"You may think we're over, but I don't."

John stormed off before I could talk to him again. I looked down at the papers once more. He really hadn't signed the papers. I wasn't hallucinating. I looked up at nothing and slammed the papers in one of my bags. Tears were starting to stream down my cheeks. As I stood there I wondered to myself…

What would it take to have him to leave me?

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**Thank you guys so much for being so patient with me! I got stitches last week on my right index finger and it's been really hard for me to type. Please review!**

**Next chapter: Carrie goes to the divas room only to be greeted by a not-so-happy diva. After that confrontation Carrie goes to Ken's room to be with him. But while she is with him she is caught for being with Ken. But who is she caught by? Stick around!**


	15. Catching All The Heat

**Author's Note: I'M SO SORRY! OK I've been really busy with finals and shiz! So I will be updating like HELL because I have spring break!!!**

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After my confrontation with John, I really needed some time alone. I figured that no divas would be in the building yet so I started to head to the diva's room. The divorce papers sat in my arms as I walked by everyone. I could feel everyone's eyes follow me as I walked. What was I? Some sort of freak show or something? I couldn't help but snarl at all of them. Just a month ago I was on good terms with all of them. But as soon as word got out that I went on vacation with Ken things turned nasty. The people who I thought were my friends stopped returning my calls. The divas wouldn't reply to my e-mails. Even Ashley was starting to turn on me! I stared back down at the papers and sighed.

I never meant to hurt John. I never meant for him to turn suicidal after what happened. I never meant to turn on him and go out with Ken. I never meant to do any of those things. But the weird thing was that I knew where my actions would lead me. The time I first kissed Ken I somehow knew it would affect John in some way. When I called the divorce I knew how many people would be so disappointed in me. I can't tell you how many hours my mother spent yelling at me when I visited her back home.

"_You're making the wrong decision!" _I remember her saying. _"You will be nothing without him!"_

Was she right? Was I really going to be nothing without him? When I spent time with Ken I felt so happy. We would go out walking around Green Bay without a care in the world. For those moments my mind was wrapped around Ken. But when the night came everything would hit me. I would think about the whole day and find myself wishing tat it was John who was holding my hand. That it was John who wrapped his arms around me and told me he loved me. That it was John who would kiss me in front of everyone. So maybe I was making the wrong decision…

I shook my head as I sighed and approached the diva locker room. I had too much on my mind. Maybe I was over thinking things. I just needed to take a long bath before I got ready. I opened the door and walked in. I put my suitcase in one of the lockers and set the divorce papers on top of them.

"Look who's finally back."

I froze as soon as I heard that voice. I thought that the diva room would be empty. I turned slowly as I plastered a smile on my face.

"Oh. Hey Melina. I didn't see you there."

"How was your time off?"

"It was great. I missed the ring though."

"How was being with…"

Melina looked at the necklace that hung from my neck. It was the necklace Ken gave me on one of our lasts nights on the sudden vacation. I squeezed the necklace in my hand. Why couldn't she just say his name?

"It was great. It is great anyways."

"You don't even know the damage you did to John do you?"

"I've blocked that information out."

"You haven't seen him this past month. You haven't seen how he's acted during house shows."

"Well since you seem to know so much why don't you just tell me?"

"He's been sulking around every arena. He would be walking in circles muttering to himself. He's been trying to hard to put on a straight face out in the ring but his pain can easily be read on his face. I would walk by his room and hear him crying to himself. He would yell to himself about how this is all his fault. Well it's not all his. YOU caused him this pain. YOU made him this way. It's YOUR fault."

By now Melina's face was red with anger. To be honest with you, I was getting sort of scared. I had never seen Melina this way. But mostly I was surprised to hear about John. Did I really hurt him that bad? I opened my mouth to tell her I was sorry about everything, but different words came out my mouth.

"Don't you DARE blame me for what I seemed to have done!"

I grabbed my suitcase and the papers and walked out of the locker room. If Melina was this bad I didn't want to handle the rest of the divas. There was only one person who I knew I could go to.

**xXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx**

I reached Ken's room within fifteen minutes. I would have taken me only five but I ran into Randy and he gave me one hell of a speech. By the time I reached his door I was on the verge of tears. Between the death stares I endured and obscenities being shouted at me I was ready to crawl under a rock and stay there. I could have never imagined that what happened would affect everyone. I knocked on Ken's door lightly as I brushed tears away. Ken opened his door smiling, but it faded as he looked at me.

"Baby what's wrong?"

"Can I come in first?"

Ken moved to the side as I walked in. I set my stuff down by the wall and fell to the couch. I couldn't hold my tears back any longer so I just broke down. I felt Ken's arms wrap around me as he tried to calm be down.

"Its okay hun tell me what's going on."

"The whole John thing! Melina yelled at me about it! My own family has turned against me! I've lost all respect from the stars! It's not fair baby!"

I cried some more as I buried my tears into Ken's chest. Ken rocked me back and forth and still tried to calm me down. But I didn't know if I could. I had never been in this sort of situation before. I never imagined that this whole thing would cause such a big scene. Finally after a while the tears stopped flowing as Ken lifted my head up.

"Listen to me Carrie. Who care's about what they say? They don't know the real story. Just forget them."

I nodded as Ken handed me a box of tissues. I blew my nose and threw them in the garbage can. Ken looked at me and smiled. I smiled back at him. Then Ken drew me in for a kiss. Soon he had pushed me back so that I was lying down on the couch and that he was on top of me. I smiled as I ran my fingers through his bleach blonde hair. I started to unbutton his shirt…

"What the hell!"

His voice stuck me hard and deep. Ken jumped off me and faced the door. I looked to the door to see that it was really him.

John had caught me.


	16. Trading Feelings

Ken and I froze at the spot we were at. I was too scared to move. Suddenly Ken jumped off me and started to button up his shirt. I got up slowly and made my way towards John.

"John calm down…"

"Oh sure I will! Here I am feeling bad for what I did and you two totally hook up!"

"John it's not like that!"

"Then how is it then?! Tell me!"

Honestly, that's exactly how it was. I didn't really have any other way to put it. I sighed as I looked down. I was trying so hard not to cry because I knew I couldn't. I had to keep strong somehow.

"It's all her fault John!"

I looked up quick at Ken's accusation. Ken was staring at John and pointing at me. John looked at me with his evil glare. What was Ken talking about? What was all my fault?

"What is all my fault?"

"This! I told you that you should stay with John but NO! You wanted to fool around! I tried to stop John I really did but she wouldn't let me! I knew I couldn't ever be with her. I'm engaged for god sakes!"

"You're engaged?!"

"Yes! And I told you too! But just ignored that fact didn't you?!"

I stared at Ken in disbelief. He was feeding John lies! I didn't know that he was engaged! Hall I didn't even know that he had a girlfriend! Why the hell was Ken pinning this whole thing on me? John looked back and forth between Ken and me. By now I didn't want to cry. I wanted to strangle Ken till he could shut his big mouth.

"You didn't tell me anything like that Ken!"

"Oh yes I did! I told you that I couldn't stay down there because of my fiancée. But you begged me to stay. 'I'll be so lonely!' you pleaded!"

"I didn't…"

"Shut up both of you!"

Ken and I looked over at John. John sighed as he took his hat off to run his hand over his short hair. I huffed as I placed my hands on my hips. By this time I was pretty confident. I knew John wouldn't believe Ken and believe me. We would apologize and it would be happily ever after.

"Carrie did he really say all that?"

"No he didn't! In fact…"

"Bull shit Carrie! You've lied to me before! Hell you've broken my heart! Here I was going to come and ask for another chance…I was crazy for thinking that."

"What are you saying John?"

"I'll sign your damn papers."

With that last statement, John left the room and slammed the door. I stood there in shock. Over the five minutes this whole thing went on, John and I switched feelings. Now I didn't want to get the divorce, but he did. I looked over at Ken to see that he was smiling. He looked over at me and smirked.

"I'll need that necklace back."

What a cold hearted bitch. I looked down at the necklace that he gave me. When he gave it to me I thought he really loved me. I didn't know he would turn on me just like that. I pulled down on the necklace breaking the chain. Kan gasped as I held the broken necklace in my hand.

"You really want this necklace back?"

"What did you do that for?!"

"You broke my heart. So I'll return the favor."

I ran past Ken into the bathroom. I locked the door and lifted up the toilet seat. I dropped Ken's precious necklace into the water. I stared at it for a while. The light was reflecting off the blue crystals. I pulled down on the handle and watched the necklace wash away with the rest of the water. I walked out of the bathroom and slapped Ken.

"Go search for it you bastard."

I walked out of the room leaving Ken rushing to the bathroom. I shut the door and leaned against it. What was I going to do to get John back? I had really screwed things up back there big time. No, wait. Let me re-phrase that. Ken really screwed up things for me back there. It was going to take a lot to get John back. And I just didn't know if I could have him back. I slid down the door and buried my face in my hands. I let my tears fall freely down my cheeks. I was officially screwed. My life was ruined. And I didn't know how to fix it.

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**Sorry for the short chapter! I gotta update before I leave! Oh yeah…I'll be gone for ten days starting March fourteenth. So I'm trying to update most of my stories! Please review!**

**Next chapter: We fast forward to October when John gets injured. Carrie hops a plane to Orlando to care for him. How does he react to seeing her at his door? Stay tuned!**


	17. One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Three months later

**Three months later**

I sat in the diva's locker room as I brushed through Elizabeth's (Beth Phoenix) hair. She had just gotten back from doing a promo for her match with Candice Michelle at No Mercy. I had become friends with most of the heels now. After John left Ken's room when he found me and Ken in there he seemed to have told the whole roster about what had happened. Most of the divas turned their backs on me. Melina was the only one who stood by me and got most of the heels to be behind me too. I put Elizabeth's brush down and sighed. Elizabeth got up and looked at herself in the mirror.

"Softer then a puppies fur. Thanks Care Bear."

"Anything for you Lizzie."

Elizabeth laughed as she plugged her straightener in. She didn't trust the hair stylist after she was doing Elizabeth's hair and burnt her ear. She sat on the counter and looked at me. I got up and turned on the TV. Vince's match with Hunter was almost done. I leaned against a wall and watched the match.

"Talked to John lately?"

"I've tried. All I get is his damn lawyer."

"And Ken?"

"I won't even make eye contact with him."

"It'll be get better hun I promise."

"You better be right."

The bell on the TV rung, indicating that the match was done. Edward (Umaga) interfered in the match attacking Hunter. I sighed as I looked back at Elizabeth. I thought that Edward had no wrestling skill at all. Elizabeth started to straighten her hair when the show went to commercial. Melina entered the room with a smile on her face. I smiled back at her as she closed the door.

"I just had the most amazing conversation with Dave!"

"Oh please do tell."

I laughed as I saw Elizabeth roll her eyes. She was being sarcastic but Melina didn't catch it. She just smiled even more and plopped down on the bench. I looked back at the TV for a quick second to see John in his subway commercial. Just seeing him on TV made my heart ache for him more.

"Well he was telling me the funniest story about how some girl just came up to him and offered him fifty dollars for him to go out with his daughter. When he asked the age of the daughter the mother said she was eighteen. Eighteen! Dave just laughed and walked away. But what mother would do that? Hooking her eighteen year old daughter up with a guy twenty one years older? It's crazy!"

"Well Dave's ten years older then you."

"It's still a closer age gap. But still…it's pretty damn funny!"

"Oh yeah…hilarious."

I laughed a little as I turned my attention back to the TV for the millionth time that night. John's music hit as he walked down the ramp. I started to imagine how my entrances with him use to be. He would go out and do his thing. Then he would extend his hand to the entrance and exit of the curtain. I would come out to the arena and blow a kiss. Then I would take his hand and twirl into his arms. He would kiss me lightly on the top of the ramp before we headed down the ramp hand in hand. I clasped my hands together as if I tried to feel John's hands with mine. I shook my head as I tuned back in to J.R and King commentating.

"Well John is still putting on a good act J.R."

"He leaves all personal issues behind the curtain when he comes out King."

"But this divorce must be eating at him! I would not be able to be this strong all the time."

"He certainly is a trooper King."

"And what about Carrie? She must be bawling every second of the day."

"This whole thing is her fault. You do know…"

I bent over and pressed the 'mute' button. I didn't want to hear what I already knew. I looked back to see Melina staring at me and Elizabeth looking at me threw her mirror. I shrugged at both of them and sighed.

"It's okay…really."

"Or at least it will be. Forget them Care Bear. They are just some old farts who only have this job because Vince can't find anyone else."

"I swear the day Vince fires them will be the best day ever."

I laughed a little at Melina's and Elizabeth's jokes. I looked back at the TV to see John having the upper hand. He seemed to be in better shape then I remembered him in. Then again I hadn't seen him in person in what seemed like forever. John had Ken in an STFU and he tapped out. A smile crept out across my face as I saw John's hand being raised. Suddenly Randy came around and RKO'ed John. Soon he tossed him out of the ring and into the steel steps. John wandered over to Randy who hit him with a TV monitor. He got him on top of the announcers table and RKO'ed him on that. John laid motionless for a while as Randy walked away. Then John moved, gripping his arm. The look of pain filled his face.

Something wasn't right with him.

I un-muted the TV as EMT's rushed out to check on him. I hovered closer and closer to the TV as I tried to listen to what was going on. John had hurt his arm somehow. John yelled in pain as the EMT's tried getting him up. I gasped as I saw the look on his face. Melina put her hand on my shoulder. I pushed it away and walked out of my room. I would wait for John to come by. The doctor's station was just past the locker room anyway. When he came around I was going to talk to him but he was surrounded by doctors and Vince. I back away so they could get through.

About an hour later Vince announced to the RAW roster that John had torn his right pectoral muscle and would be out of action. I knew that it was going to kill John to be just sitting back and watching the action from his home in Orlando. That thought gave me an idea.

I waited till I knew for sure that John was back in Orlando after his surgery. According to his doctor the surgery had gone well and he would start therapy as soon as possible. I packed up my things and went to the airport. I got on the next flight out to Orlando.

**xXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx**

I rented a car from the airport and took the route to his house. It use to be my house too. But last month he took my name off everything we shared and sent my stuff from the house to my new house in Phoenix. I took the next exit onto his road. Within seconds I pulled into his driveway. I turned off the car and sat in it for a while.

What would John do when he saw me on his doorstep? How mad would he be? Part of me wanted to turn the car back on and head home. But I just couldn't get myself to turn the key again. I took the key out of the ignition and opened the door. I kept my stuff in the car just in case things got a little out of hand. I walked slowly up the driveway and up the steps. I took a deep breath before I rang the doorbell. A couple seconds later John opened the door. He saw me and started to close the door again. I stopped it with my hand.

"John just wait…"

"Get off my property."

"John I need to talk to you."

"Talk to my lawyer."

"I don't want to talk to him John. I want to talk to you."

"Too bad. I won't return the favor."

"Your gonna need help around this house. I doubt you'll clean with one free arm. Let me just help out."

"I don't need you or your help."

"But I need you John."

John opened the door a little more so I didn't have to stop it from closing. He looked at me and sighed. I looked at the sling around his arm and instantly felt bad for him. This was going to be harder then I thought. I looked back at him to see him staring at me.

"Get your shit and get in here before I change my mind. You're staying in the guest room."

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**It's been a while but I'm back! Anyways, please review! Also, I plan on ending this story pretty soon. Maybe two or three more chapters.**

**Next chapter: We flash forward to present day. Carrie had finished her side of the story. How will John react? Keep reading!**


	18. Seek Happy Nights To Happy Days

Present Day

**A/N: Sorry the chappie is short! It's one of the last ones. Next chappie will be better I promise!**

**Present Day**

**Tampa, Florida**

"That's it. That's the story." I state.

I set my coffee down on the coaster on the table. It's probably roughly around two in the morning when I finish the story. Since I arrived here John and I spent two days not talking to each other. Finally at around five this evening I sat across from John on his couch and told him I would tell him everything.

And I did.

John runs his hand through his hair and sighs. He has calmed down since his last outburst. The divorce papers are still the only thing keeping us where we are. John stands up and walks to the glass sliding door leading to the backyard. I'm so tempted to get up and wrap my arms around him. But I'm afraid that he would push me away. So I stay sitting on the couch looking at him. He turns to me with his hands on his hips.

"Is that the whole story?" He asks me.

"From beginning to end and everything in between." I tell him.

"Are you sure??" John asks again.

"I'm not going to lie to you again." I say standing up.

John looks at me, then down at the divorce papers. He walks over to the table and picks them up. He turns them over in his hands over and over again. I'm standing frozen in the spot where I stood up from. Is John going to say something? I open my mouth to say something, anything, but no sound comes out. I close my mouth and look up at him again. He's stopped flipping the big envelope.

"I never knew…" John says but then stops.

"You never knew what?" I ask him confused.

"I never knew how much it hurt you. I just thought…you didn't care…" John says getting quiet with each word he says.

"John…" I manage to say.

I manage to un glue my feet from the floor as I walk the short distance to him. I make my arms rise to his face as I put my hands around his face. It feels so good to look into his deep blue eyes again. I can feel his breath against my face. At this moment I feel so comfortable being this close to him.

"I'm always going to care for you, no matter what. I regret every single day from this whole thing. I wish I never kissed him. I wish that I never left you. I left you in the worst position. It's all my fault and I'm sorry. But don't ever think I don't care about you." I admitted to him.

John's eyes moved around as he searched my face to see if I was lying. I am straight faced but my eyes always show my emotion. John looked straight into my eyes as I looked into his. I feel so light and energetic as we lock eyes.

All of a sudden…he kisses me.

I've missed his lips since that fateful June day when I left him. I've missed looking into his deep blues and actually being within arm reach of him. John wraps his arms around my waist as I hook mine around his neck. He pulls away and smiles at me. I smile back and wipe a tear away from my eye.

"I guess we won't need those papers now." John tells me.

"Are you serious?" I ask surprised.

"Yes Carrie. I never stopped loving you. But when I saw you and Ken…I panicked. I acted harsh because I was hiding my true feelings. But now I heard what you went through and I'm sure we can start over." John says.

I start to tear up as John wipes the tears from my eyes. I smile slightly as I kiss him once more. Nothing else could make me feel as happy as I feel now. It feels amazing to know that after so much pain, hot joy can just lift you up.

"I love you Carrie." John whispers into my ear.

"I love you too John." I manage to whisper through my tears.

**xXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx**

**So they are back together! Yayz! Please review!**

**Next chapter: LAST CHAPPIE! It's now April and Carrie gives us one last update before leaving us. Keep reading!**


	19. My Happy Ending

April 27, 2008

**April 27, 2008**

So this is it. This is the end of the story. It's been hard for me to tell it to you and to John. But it all ended up for the better. This is the time where I should probably give you updates on everyone…

Randy and Samantha did get married. I took over the wedding for the last two weeks because her wedding planner totally dumped her. Sam is now pregnant and is due in July.

Dave and Ashley eventually ended their relationship shortly after our Bermuda trip. Ashley found out that he had been cheating on her with Melina. Dave and Melina have been off and on for the past few months. Ashley is happily single and living life to the fullest! (In her words…)

Adam and Amy are happily together and engaged. They plan on getting married sometime in the summer. And guess who she asked to be the wedding planner? Yeah…me. And of course I agreed…

Trish and Ron are still happily married. Uhh…yeah that's all the info Trish would give me. She's so damn private.

Ken's fiancée married him only because he never told her about us. I ended up calling her and telling her what had happened. She confronted Ken about it and they were separated for a while. But she forgave him after he begged and pleaded for her to forgive him. I still haven't talked to Ken and I don't plan on it.

As for me and John? Well…

**xXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx**

"Truth or Dare?" I asked as he licked his ice cream cone.

"Oh come on Carrie!" John whined as I took a bite of my cone.

"What? It's the rules!" I argued.

"But if I pick truth you make up the hardest questions and the dares are stuff I could get arrested for!" John argued back.

"That's how your suppose to play it." I said smiling.

John sighed as he took the last bite of his cone. I was still working on my ice cream cone. I am seriously the slowest ice cream eater in the world. John stole a lick of my cookie dough ice cream and sighed once more.

"Fine. I'll take truth." he said.

"Good! I have a good truth too!" I said jumping up and down.

"Oh god…" John said as I stopped walking.

"Okay. You ready for this?" I asked.

"Never, but go ahead." John said, expecting the worse.

"If you could make me one promise, what would it be?" I asked him.  
John stopped walking and looked back at me. I had wanted to ask that question for a long time. I brought up playing truth or dare earlier in the day. Now we were walking toward the arena after stopping by an ice cream place and getting ice cream. John walked up to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I looked up at him licking my ice cream cone.

"I promise to never ever leave you." John replied.

"Never ever?" I asked, stuttering a little.

"Never ever. It was the worst feeling the first time. I don't wanna feel like that again." John stated.

"Oh John…" I said smiling.

John smiled back at me and started to lean in. I pushed my ice cream cone in his face and got some on his nose. I laughed as he closed his eyes and licked the ice cream off the tip of his nose.

"That was very childish of you Carrie Cena." John said laughing.

"I could care less John Cena." I replied laughing as well.

John smiled as he wiped the rest of the ice cream off. I threw my ice cream away in the nearest trash can. John leaned in once more and I finally kissed him. We pulled away as we put our heads together.

"I love you Carrie Marie Cena." John told me.

"I love you too Jonathan Felix Anthony Cena." I replied as he pulled me in for one last kiss.

John and I fixed everything. Nothing could be better. I am actually due for our first baby early next year. Everything that happened last year we have put behind us.

So do I think I love my husband?

I know I do.

**xXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx**

**The end! As I always do, I have people to thank…**

**I would like to thank gurl42069, Cenababe1, Inday, ****SandyCena, nychick4, Sandra Moore7474, c3naisuhmazing, nic-002001, ChainGangShorty54, tophersmommy06, Madame Morrison, ****cenalover12, MissBubblyJayy, sailor mama, Cena's new wife12, Oh Good God (yes even you) and purplefeather21 for reviewing. You're the reason that I kept this story going!**

**Secondly, I want to thank all who did read the story. And thank you for making it a success.**

**So…that's it! Byez! Sequel? I don't know…I'll think about it…haha!**


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